Lonely Lycanthrope
by visualpurple
Summary: The Story of Remus Lupin: Before Hogwarts, before the Marauders, before the wolfsbane potion. Rated K plus for violence and frightening images. CHAPTER 12 UP!
1. Vanished

STORY CONTAINS HBP SPOILERS!

A/N: Hey, this is visualpurple, the author (duh). This is my first ever Harry Potter fanfic, so go easy on me. I know there are a billion stories out there about 'Remus' Story' and the 'Marauders' Story', and you probably think this is just like the rest of them. But I'm just going to say this takes place before the Marauders, before Hogwarts, and it focuses entirely on Remus' childhood and the obstacles he encounters. Please at least try it out, and if you do read it, PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP REVIEW! By the way, my chapters are usually pretty short. On we go!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter, or any of the other characters/places in the books or movies, they all belong to J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers and are protected by copyrights.

'Brothers and sisters are as close as hands and feet' –Vietnamese Proverb

Remus Lupin was a perfectly happy little boy. His parents both loved him dearly, and he had many friends, both muggle and magic. His parents were extremely protective of him, as he was their only child. Remus had at one point in time had a little sister; her name had been Felicity. At first Remus wasn't sure he would like a sister, but once he saw her pink face and tiny toes, they were best of friends. Remus would always lend a hand when his new baby sister was learning to walk, supporting her if she wobbled; and he helped his mother feed her when she got too fussy. For some reason Felicity would calm down immediately whenever her big brother comforted her.

One fateful afternoon Felicity had wandered out into the small forest near the Lupin home all alone. Mr. Lupin realized his daughter was missing, and went searching for her in the forest. Remus never saw his little sister again. He didn't really understand where she had gone; he had only been three years old. Still, the image of his mum crying and his father; his strong, dependable father, with tears streaming down his face had been clear. Remus was miserable for almost a year afterwards, and he kept on questioning his mother, "Where Felicity? Where she go mummy?" But he never really received an answer in return, just silence and sorrow. Now Remus was five, and although he was still vaguely upset about the incident, it had faded into the back of his memory, the hurt no longer fresh in his head.

Remus jumped outside of his small home and happily scampered through the back garden, chasing butterflies and scattering startled gnomes. Remus enjoyed chasing the knobby little creatures. He would clap his hands gleefully whenever one looked grumpily up at him as it ran back into its hole. His mum didn't like it when he did that, she would scold him about gnome bites and infections. Partly because he had no clue what on earth 'infetons' were, and partly because he never listened anyway, Remus continued to chase them. Ever since Felicity had disappeared, his mother and father had been so defensive, telling Remus off if he so much as played with another child who had a small cough. Usually he would just cross his arms and pout unhappily until his mum couldn't help but laugh, or, if she were in a particularly bad mood, start yelling. One area he was never able to get away with was the forest. The Felicity incident had caused Remus' parents to forbid him from ever entering or even setting foot near the small clump of trees.

Remus never found out where his sister had gone. The investigation to find Felicity in the forest had ceased after only a few days, without explanation. This made Remus especially curious, and he had been caught peeking into the trees on a number of occasions. He was punished harshly after, unable to leave the house for a week. But Remus was only five after all. He didn't see the imminent danger, and he didn't bother to heed his parent's warnings. That was how he received the bite.

A/N: So? Did you like it? The only way you can tell me is if you REVIEW! I don't mind constructive criticism, but flames are never nice. Please, I don't want to get singed. And compliments are the best! Bottom line, please REVIEW!


	2. Night of Terror

Thanks for reviewing everyone! I really appreciate it.

**blueacorn5 –**Thanks! Keep in mind you helped me with a lot of ideas for the fanfic, so you have great ideas too. Write another poem!

**Midnight-Kitsune07** –I'm updating! Glad you like the story so far!

**violet-angel07** –When I was writing that chapter, I could just imagine tiny Remus hopping around the garden. It was fun to write! The last line took some thinking, I'm very glad you like it.

**TelepathicPrincess –**Yep, I read HBP. Did you like it? I thought it was mediocre, as far as J.K. Rowling goes. Don't worry, it'll be longer, and I am updating, but not as fast as I'd have liked. :-(

A/N: Okay, I wrote this entire chapter on scrap paper and put it in our car. I left for camp, came back, and it was GONE! My mom trashed it. So I had to re-write the entire thing. Then I found the one I thought my mom trashed. This chapter's a combo of the two. Sorry if it's a bit fragmented. And sorry it took so LONG! I've been really busy!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything… if I did, would I be on fanfiction? No. I would be making millions and planning my next movie. J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. do that. Oh, and I don't own Goodnight Moon either.

'Nothing is to be feared but fear.'— Sir Francis Bacon

Remus gleefully trotted after a butterfly, jumping over his mother's precious plants. The Lupin family was not particularly poor, but their income always seemed in the questionable stage. The vegetables in the garden meant less money to spend at the muggle town market buying someone else's veggies, and Mrs. Lupin was proud to grow such fine food. She was almost as protective of the plants as she was of Remus.

Twilight was approaching, and long shadows were beginning to stretch even longer as the sun set. Remus wasn't afraid of the dark. He enjoyed playing outside in the moonlight, with his parents watching, of course. Remus was very fond of these excursions. Not only did he get a chance to play outdoors, he got to do it under the stars, of which he was especially fond. He would watch them twinkle down at him from the sky, their brilliance outmatched only by the moon. Remus' favorite book was Goodnight Moon, and his mum would read it to him every night. Tonight Remus kept glancing expectantly at the horizon, but the moon had yet to make an appearance.

Mrs. Lupin looked down at her cheerful son from the chair she had perched upon the lawn near their back door. He seemed so innocent and carefree, hopping around like a rabbit. She sighed, trying to mirror his mood. Her husband would be home soon from his job at the ministry; he worked on the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad, part of the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. John Lupin worked hard to earn enough galleons to support the family, and Anastasia was proud of her husband even though his salary wasn't incredible. She had been a young muggle teacher when he had come along. John had told her he was a wizard the moment they were engaged. It had been a bit of a shock, to be sure, but they were married and Anastasia couldn't have been happier. They had Remus a few months later, and then Felicity… Anastasia shivered even though the night was warm. After the tragedy she had quit her job, much to Remus' puzzlement. He was so naïve, not a care in the world…

Remus looked up from his butterfly as a faint 'pop' echoed in the night air. His father had materialized a few feet from the forest's edge, a strained look on his face.

"Daddy? What's wrong?"

Mr. Lupin patted Remus on the head dismissively and hurried past him towards Anastasia. He kissed his wife quickly and began a hushed conversation. Remus pouted angrily. His father had never done this before. He listened closely to whatever was more important that him.

"They say he's loose again Ana… people all over the ministry are in a panic. I'm telling you, he's dangerous! We have to be careful…"

He paused as Mrs. Lupin glanced at Remus over her husband's shoulder. Remus scrambled to examine a nearby plant, appearing innocent. His mother continued, even quieter than before, and Remus had to strain his ears to hear her words.

"Well, what makes you think he'll come after us? We haven't done anything…" She trailed off at the guilty look on Mr. Lupin's face.

"Oh John! What happened?"

"I've insulted him. Or at least I think I have…"

Remus dared to peek up at his parents. Who were they talking about? His father was explaining something incomprehensible to his mum, something about telling someone at work that _they _were vicious, bloodthirsty, and no more intelligent than a pile of doxy droppings, and how he personally thought the ministry should dispose of them all. Remus had absolutely no clue what was going on. Rocking up unto his tippy toes, he said loudly, "Who, daddy?"

Mr. Lupin halted abruptly.

Both parents stood silently for a moment, until Mrs. Lupin cleared her throat and said, "Remus, I think it's high time someone went to bed." Both parents fixed pained smiles on their faces and waited. Remus trudged slowly into the house, purposely dragging his feet as loudly as possible.

Remus stomped to his bedroom, trying to decide whether or not this was worth a full-fledged temper-tantrum. His dad had never ignored him like that, and it made him mad. Especially since he didn't know what they were talking about in his absence.

Remus quickly changed into his dark blue pajamas and leapt into his small cozy bed. Tucking himself under the covers, Remus looked around briefly. His "bedroom" was actually a small bed placed in his parent's walk-in bedroom closet. He used to sleep in a trundle bed, but that made him feel like a baby, so he convinced his parents to upgrade him. Even thought it was tiny, Remus loved his bedroom. Snuggling under the homemade quilt, he waited for his mum to come and kiss him goodnight.

He was surprised to see his mother _and _father appear in the doorway. They came inside, barely fitting in the small space.

"Remus," Mr. Lupin began in a gruff voice, "I know I was a bit rude today, but something's come up. I want you to promise me that you'll listen to your mother and stay away from the forest whether I'm here or not. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Daddy," Remus said obediently. He tried to look like he meant it, but inside he was fed up with his parents, and sick of all these rules and regulations. He couldn't see what was so dangerous about the woods. All he had ever seen inside were a few doxys and a bowtruckle. Why were his parents so worried?

He gazed up at his mother's grave face. She didn't look entirely convinced at his quick answer. "Remus, please. Listen to your father."

"I will," Remus didn't understand all the fuss. Getting a sudden idea, Remus asked his father loudly, "Hey daddy, who do you think is a pile of doxy droppings?"

Mr. Lupin sighed and left the room. Remus looked curiously up at his mum, but she just smiled and held up a tattered book with a full moon on the cover.

"Goodnight Moon!" Remus shrieked in pleasure as his mother opened to the first page. His eyes lit up as she read. At every 'goodnight' possible, Remus waved at each item mentioned by his mother. He loved the book, and for a time couldn't have believed such a wonder had been written by a muggle, until his mum had pointed out that she was a muggle too. Remus then understood that if his mum was a muggle, then most muggles had to be just as great as she was. Sometimes Mrs. Lupin would change the words around to things like 'goodnight broom', but Remus always knew. He had the book memorized.

As his mother read the last page and closed the book, Remus yawned happily and buried deep down under the covers. His mum kissed his forehead and wished him goodnight. She got up and extinguished the lantern hanging from the ceiling (electricity was a luxury, and far too expensive). Remus slowly drifted off to sleep.

A loud wailing sound jolted Remus awake. He threw his blankets off and carefully opened the closet door. Tiptoeing across the room, Remus checked to see his parents were still asleep. The cold floor made Remus shiver, and he grabbed his coat as he made his way to the back door. Outside the screen, Remus saw the full moon peeking down at him from between the trees. He waved at her, then, putting a finger to his lips, silently slipped out into the night.

As he crossed the garden and neared the forest, Remus heard the sound again, much louder this time. It sounded like a cross between a howl and a whimper. Remus wanted desperately to find out what it was. Moonlight made everything sparkle and wink at him. Remus delightedly clapped his hands together as he realized that no grown-ups were out here watching him. He could go wherever he pleased! _Even the forest_. His mother's worried face swam into his memory for a moment, and he remembered his father's warning. Remus hesitated, but his mind was already made up. Dismissing the worries, he scampered into the forest he had never entered. The trees, bright in the moonlight, looked magical as Remus carefully hopped over broken branches in the mist. A groggy electric-blue pixie flew out of the plants Remus had disturbed on his trek, and it shook its fist angrily at him before settling back down to sleep. The forest whispered as the wind blew through the branches overhead, giving it a sense of intellect and ancient wisdom. Remus ran over the uneven ground unhindered, as if he had wings. Ferns scratched at his legs, but he paid them no mind. Finally, exhausted, Remus stopped and bent over to catch his breath. It was then that he remembered why he had come to the forest in the first place.

Perhaps some animal was badly injured and needed help. The sound Remus had heard earlier was now absent from the chatter of the woodland creatures. He strained his ears in search of the cry, and didn't have to wait long. The howling sounded again, this time much closer, and so loud it made Remus' eardrums smart. He froze as the forest filled with the echoes of the chilling sound. _Maybe this wasn't such a good idea… _

Remus turned to go back to the house, but he couldn't find the opening in the trees. Surely he had just looked the wrong way, he wasn't lost, he silently reassured himself, panic rising. Remus rotated on the spot, frantically searching as he heard the sound again, even nearer this time. "Mum?" he said fearfully into the night. "Mum?" he said louder as a dark shape materialized in the ferns ahead. "MUM! HELP!" Remus wailed in desperation as the monster turned and he saw the fangs dripping in saliva and the dark matted fur. Remus tore through the forest, running faster than he ever had before, knowing his life depended on it. His face and arms stung as he whipped past branches and they tugged against his skin. Soon blood mixed with the tears pouring down his face. Remus yelped as he tripped on a rotting log in his path and fell heavily unto the damp earth. Splayed on the ground like some sort of throw rug, Remus scrambled to get up. He could hear heavy footfalls as the monster approached; feel its hot, putrid breath on the back of his neck. Remus screamed in agony as he felt a sharp pain in his right leg. He turned his head, horrified to find huge fangs digging deep into his flesh. Remus collapsed in shock and pain, unable to do anything. The last thing he saw before he blacked out was the full moon, shining down at him almost mockingly. _I should have listened to you mum._

The werewolf stood above its prey and howled triumphantly.

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A/N: Poor Remus! Next chapter will hopefully be up sooner than this one… PLEASE REVIEW!


	3. Wait at St Mungo's

I wish I had more reviews… Thanks to all you kind folks who did review! (A grand total of one- you rock TelepathicPrincess!)

**TelepathicPrincess **- I didn't like HBP that much either. There was too much romance, and I cried when Dumbledore died. I was so upset when I lost my chapter, but I was very glad to find out my mom hadn't read it…you're right, that would have been very scary.

A/N: Ok, all you readers out there, I desperately need your help! My title stinks, and I know it. I need a new title badly! So please, in your reviews, give me suggestions! I need a new title! PLEASE!

**Disclaimer**: The entire Harry Potter universe belongs to J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers, not me. I can dream though...

'Always kiss your children goodnight - even if they're already asleep.' -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Anastasia Lupin woke to her son's pleading screams echoing in the distance. She jumped out of bed as if an electric shock had surged through her body, and then quickly shook her husband awake.

"John! Remus is in trouble!" she said urgently.

The fear on her face made Mr. Lupin jump up immediately. "Let's go," he said, whipping his wand out as he spoke. They followed the screams out into the garden. They could just barely make out Remus' painful yelling, the sound coming from the forest. There was no time for an exchange of dark looks, the adults just crashed into the trees. Breathing heavily, they ran in the direction of their son, stumbling over logs and branches even though Mr. Lupin had his wand tip alight and they could see where they were going. Remus' father was scared out of his wits, though he didn't show it. He didn't want his wife to see the fear on his face and have her panic too.

Suddenly the wails stopped abruptly. Both parents halted and looked at each other with the same pale, sweaty faces. Coming to a silent decision, Remus' parents ran into the trees ahead, determination in their eyes. Breaking into a clearing, what they saw made their hearts stop.

Their little boy lay helplessly in a pool of moonlight, blood staining his tattered clothing. Mr. Lupin darted over to his unconscious son, and was relieved to find him still breathing. "He's alright!" John cried to his wife.

But that was far from the truth. Remus was in a terrible condition, although he was still alive. A huge bite mark scarred his right leg, and his breathing was shallow and labored, getting more haggard as he lost more blood through the bite and the many scratches covering his tiny body. Ann looked silently upon her son with wide eyes. _Not my other one too… _Finally she summoned up the strength to say something. "He needs to get to the hospital right away!" she said in a quavering voice quite unlike her own. Her husband muttered, "Ferula," and bandaged Remus' bloody leg. He carefully lifted his son's limp body into his arms, and the adults ran out of the forest.

"The muggle doctors won't know how to deal with this," Mr. Lupin panted as he ran, "Already he's lost too much blood. We'll have to go to St. Mungo's." Ann nodded as they reached the house and went inside. She grabbed a handful of floo powder from a small velvet bag hanging from the fireplace, and quickly threw it into the dying coals. Green flames erupted from the grate, lighting the room. Remus' father stepped into the flickering blaze, carefully cradling his son. "St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries," he said clearly. When both father and son had vanished, Mrs. Lupin followed suit. Whirling through color and sounds, they halted abruptly in a cold, dark fireplace, clearly in an unused room. Bursting into the bright hallway, they found the nearest healer and feverishly explained what had happened. She conjured a stretcher out of thin air and gently placed Remus upon it. Waving her wand, the pale ghostly boy floated down the hall after her, and she wasted no time in calling out to healers as she passed them by. The crowd of green-clad personnel rushed down the hallway, the Lupins following close behind. Unexpectedly a large, important-looking employee stepped into the parent's path as they tried to reach their son.

"Please do not interrupt the healers at work," he said in a calm voice, as this seemed to be routine. "You could damage your poor son even further at this vital stage if you distract them." For a moment Mr. Lupin looked as though he wanted to strangle the healer, but then he heaved a deep sigh and the parents trudged away to the fifth floor.

The wait was dreadful, each moment not knowing whether their son would live or die. As the minutes ticked by, the parents became increasingly tense. Mrs. Lupin's hands shook as she lifted the teacup to her lips, and Mr. Lupin paced back and forth continuously. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, a healer stepped unto the floor and glanced around, as if searching for someone. The Lupins recognized her, jumped up and ran over, eager for some news. The healer asked them to relive their story again. Mr. Lupin explained breathlessly, wanting to find out if his son was alright. He felt awfully guilty.

"It is my understanding that you have lost a child before," the healer said, glancing at her clipboard. The parents' hearts plummeted. "Is that right Mr. and Mrs. Lupin?" The healer raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Yes," Anastasia said quietly. "She…she had an accident in the woods near our home." Mrs. Lupin gulped as her husband shot her a warning look.

"The same forest where your son was attacked? How did she die?"

"Now see here!" Mr. Lupin said angrily, "You're prying into matters that don't concern you!"

"Please calm down sir," the healer said fearfully. She was highly intimidated by this man. Even though he wasn't very large, his strong determination created a sense of power around him that frightened her.

Ann admired her husband for his bravery, but she could feel the alarm beneath his outer shell of menace. "John…"

Mr. Lupin looked to his wife and his anger changed into a strained sort of panic. The healer glanced at the husband and wife, confused by their curious behavior. She lifted the clipboard to her eyes once again, searching for an explanation.

"I see," she said quietly. Both parents stared at her. "I understand," the healer said louder as she lowered the clipboard. "You do know we have new procedures here at St. Mungo's… it wouldn't cause any pain…"

"No." said Mrs. Lupin firmly. Her husband opened his mouth, a pleading look upon his face, but Ann silenced him quickly.

"No. You know I can't John. We agreed."

"But Ann…"

"No."

The healer looked at the poor desperate couple pityingly. She saw there was no use arguing. "Well, I'm sorry about your daughter."

"What about Remus?" Ann asked, dreading the answer, but wanting it all the same.

"He should be fine for now." Mr. and Mrs. Lupin sighed in relief and allowed their tense shoulders to relax.

"But…" they searched the healer's face, worry etched once again on theirs. She seemed very upset, and was having trouble continuing. Composing herself with a deep breath, she gave the parents the shocking news.

"I'm very sorry to tell you this, but your son has been bitten by a werewolf."

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A/N: And so it begins… well, the story had to start getting sinister at some point. I shall only update when I get 10 reviews! MWAHAHAHA! So please, review. By the way, the next chapter is my favorite so far, and longer!


	4. The First Transformation

Okay, I admit, I'm behind. But I never, ever expected to get this many reviews! Thanks a ton to everyone who reviewed, you're the best!

**TelepathicPrincess – **My faithful reviewer! I don't know about Waif Werewolf. It sounds too Lemony Snicketish, and less Harry Potter. Thanks for reviewing once again, and here's the long-awaited update!

**PrincessMia737**- Well, the update didn't come really, really soon, but it did come eventually… so sorry. I finally found my notebook! It was on a shelf in my house. Grrr. I wish I had found it sooner.

**Deb-lil**- I love new reviewers! Thanks for all the compliments. I'm hoping this story turns out alright, because it's very fragmented at the moment… here's your update!

**moviegal3492**- Thanks so much for reviewing! I'll tell my sister you told her to write more poems. I keep on insisting she should, but she never does. She did have an Umbridge one for a while… maybe I can convince her to finish it!

A/N: This is by far my favorite chapter up to now. I really like the scene and everything… yeah, okay, I'll stop being annoying and let you get on with it! I STILL NEED A NEW TITLE! Suggestions appreciated.

**Disclaimer**: I hate writing these, but they're necessary. I don't own Harry Potter, the books, movies, or anything except for the evil notebook that I write in that keeps getting lost…

"My transformations in those days were- were terrible. It is very painful to turn into a werewolf." –Remus Lupin, POA

Remus came home the next day. His parents didn't say a word as they signed out, or when they threw floo powder into the flames and traveled back to their house. Remus didn't push them for answers to his questions, but he was curious and did not understand the complications of the tragedy.

The days passed by, and Remus stayed home 'sick' from school.

"But mum, I don't _feel_ sick. I'm okay. I wanna play with my friends!"

"Honey…" Mrs. Lupin sighed for the hundredth time and tried to give him an explanation. "Well… dear…. Oh…." Mrs. Lupin put a hand to her aching forehead and drudged over to her bedroom.

Mr. and Mrs. Lupin began to panic as the full moon approached.

"Where do we put him?" Mrs. Lupin asked her husband in a shaky voice. She had become a nervous wreck, breaking plates and shattering glasses; her knitting had become a tangled knot from her constant breakdowns. The Lupins had looked at the problem from as many angles as they could, but even after their brains felt like wrung sponges, they had absolutely no idea what to do with their son. If he stayed inside of his bedroom, he could destroy it. Outdoors was out of the question.

"I can see it now, the headline in the muggle newspaper: CRAZY BOY TERRORIZES VILLAGE. What do we do John?"

Mr. Lupin scratched his chin. "What about the cellar? If we remove some things…"

"No." Anastasia glared at her husband coldly. "The preservatives are all in glass containers, and if he breaks one…"

"Well, we could always move the preserve-" Mr. Lupin froze in mid-sentence with one look at his wife's face.

"You know why we can't move those."

Mr. Lupin sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. He walked to the window and looked out unto the moonlit landscape.

"It may not be as bad as we think. Perhaps he will be harmless…" Mr. Lupin tried to sound reassuring, but he didn't believe the words himself.

"Perhaps." Mrs.Lupin's lower lip trembled.

Mr. Lupin remained gazing out the window, but his wife retreated into their bedroom. She quietly opened the door to what had once been her closet, but now held her sleeping son. Mr. Lupin joined his wife, and they looked down upon the innocent boy, forcing themselves to believe he would still be this way when his hair grew longer, and his teeth became sharp.

"His room will do," Mr. Lupin whispered, "we can remove any valuables, just in case."

Mrs. Lupin nodded. "Of course, just in case."

Remus laughed merrily as he picked up the little white knight and watched it struggle in his hand.

"Remus! Don't touch your father's chess set!" Mrs. Lupin glanced at her son as she washed dishes (by hand, as she refused to let her husband clean them using magic).

"But mummy, look at all the funny little men!" Remus protested as the knight brandished a tiny stone fist at him. The chess set was in fairly good shape, despite the fact it had been handed down for generations within the Lupin family. Remus didn't know how to play, but he liked to push the pieces around the checkered board.

Mr. Lupin walked into the room and chuckled at the sight of Remus and his old chess set.

"Remus, that's not how you play wizard's chess," he said, with an amused smile on his face.

"I know," Remus said, without looking up, "but its fun to play with."

"Do you want me to teach you?"

The young boy's face lit up. "Yes, please!"

Remus listened closely as his father explained the rules of chess, and once he fully understood, they began to play. At first Remus only ordered pawns across the board, but soon his bishops and castles were advancing cautiously into the forest of black pieces across the checkered field. Mr. Lupin was more familiar with the chessmen, and they obeyed his every command without question. He had the upper hand the entire game, although Remus presented a challenge to his skill. The lonely boy had finally found something that interested him, so he invested all of his heart, soul, and willpower into winning. Mrs. Lupin watched them fondly as she dried the dishes, wishing the happiness could last all night.

Soon Remus began yawning and rubbing his eyes sleepily. Mrs. Lupin started to usher him to bed, but her husband held up his hand and she stopped.

"He deserves to stay up, just a bit longer. Its not like he'll get much sleep anyway." Mr. Lupin said it under his breath, trying in vain to shield his son from the words.

"Mum? What's happening tonight? Why won't I sleep?" Remus asked drowsily.

"Honey, do you remember what we told you in the hospital, and what the healers said?" Mrs. Lupin spoke deliberately slowly.

"Er…about werewolves?" Remus didn't notice his parents flinch as he uttered the word.

"Yes. Tonight is the full moon, Remus. Do you understand what that means?" Mrs. Lupin tried hard to keep her voice even.

"Means that monsters come out." Remus said quietly, as he remembered last month.

"We're going to lock you in your room," Mr. Lupin told his son. Seeing the alarmed look on his face, Mr. Lupin quickly added, "Don't worry, we'll be outside watching over you the whole night.

"But daddy, don't you want to go to sleep?" Remus asked, clearly puzzled.

Mrs. Lupin's eyes began to water and she angrily wiped them so Remus wouldn't see.

"He doesn't understand John. What do we do?"

Remus turned from parent to parent, the same quizzical look on his face.

Mr. Lupin sighed and bent over so he was level with his son.

"Remus… when you were bitten, what did we tell you?"

"I'm a werewolf now!" Remus chimed, as if he were a clock on the wall, and not a sleepy little boy.

At this Mrs. Lupin let out a choked sob and ran towards her room.

"Daddy? Why is mum crying? I don't understand daddy…"

Mr. Lupin silenced his son with a finger to his lips. "Come on, we have to go beddy-bye now."

Remus pouted and put his hands on his hips in an uncanny impression of his mother. "I'm not a baby-waby anymore, daddy." He let himself be herded into his bedroom all the same. Remus' 'bedroom'; really a closet in his parent's room, was tiny, but he loved it. The first thing he noticed as he stepped inside was that all his toys had disappeared.

"Where-" But Remus never finished his sentence. He felt odd, as if worms were wriggling around inside his stomach, a sensation he only recalled experiencing once before, right after he had realized his sister was gone forever. He took a few faltering steps towards the bed, and as he sat down his parents both appeared in the doorway. His mother walked over and kissed his forehead.

"Don't worry, "she said, "We'll be watching you the whole time. And remember Remus, whatever happens, we still love you."

Remus wanted to tell his parents that he loved them too, but his throat was all scratchy. The world began to get blurry and disproportionate, as if he were looking through a warped pair of eyeglasses. As if from another world, Remus saw the door shut. The worms inside his stomach suddenly felt like snakes, thrashing around like mad…

As the full moon began to rise in the sky, convulsions seized the little boy's body and he began to thrash around on the bed.

_What's happening to me?_ Remus felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, and his face felt as if it was stretching out like taffy.

"Mum? What's going on? DAD?" Remus began to panic as he felt the hair on his arms and head begin to grow…

Remus began to scream, and he was terrified to hear the sound of his voice begin to change into a growling yell…

The werewolf was gaining control.

"HELP ME!" Remus cried desperately as he dropped down unto all fours. "PLEASE!" He shook violently as his fingernails elongated and the transformation was complete. Remus Lupin no longer had a grip on reality. He was unable to speak, and the monster had absolute control over his wolfish body.

The wolf sniffed the enclosed space it was trapped inside, searching for humans… Reaching the bed, the werewolf smelled the little boy. It viciously ripped the sheets into small threads and tore the pillow until feathers filled the air, slowly floating back to earth. Finding nothing to bite, it threw his its shaggy head back in frustration and howled. _Where is it? I can smell it...THERE! _The wolf began to tear into its own skin, satisfied as blood appeared. But it wasn't a human's… it needed MORE!

Mr. and Mrs. Lupin sat outside in silence as they listened to their son's pleas. Their faces pale, the parents looked at each other, the same thoughts in their minds: _He's dying…he's dying and I can't do anything…_

"Open the door!" Mrs. Lupin screeched as she heard the pillow being torn apart inside the room.

"We can't! You know we can't Anastasia!" Mr. Lupin yelled mournfully.

"Yes we can! He'll kill himself!"

"If we open the door, he'll kill us." Mr. Lupin said grimly as he grabbed his wife's hand. "He can fight it out. Mind over matter Remus!"

The creature inside responded by slashing the door with its long claws. Remus' parents jumped up in alarm.

It could sense them…on the other side! If it could only get through and reach them… The werewolf let out a ferocious snarl and hurled itself at the door again. The wood was beginning to splinter, and it was rattling on the hinges.

"Let's go!" Mr. Lupin called to his wife as he began to run.

"NO! We can't just leave him here!" Mrs. Lupin braced herself against the door to prevent the monster from escaping.

"Ann, we have to leave," said Mr. Lupin, "Don't be crazy! We can't stop him!"

"HE'S STILL REMUS!" Mrs. Lupin began to cry. "HE'S STILL OUR SON!"

Mr. Lupin pointed at the door furiously. "LISTEN! LISTEN TO THAT! THAT'S NOT OUR LITTLE BOY! THAT'S A MONSTER!" Now he was crying too.

The wolf let out another snarl, and before either adult could react, the door fell apart and the creature burst into the room.

At first the werewolf was in shock, but soon it regained its bearings and began to creep forwards. Mr. and Mrs. Lupin stood as still as if they were in the full-body bind.

Breathing heavily, the animal licked its lips and circled the parents.

Mr. Lupin turned his head ever so slightly and whispered to his wife, "I can stun him."

He carefully pulled out his wand. Mrs. Lupin shook her head, causing the tears running down her cheeks to splash down unto the carpet. "He's still Remus," she repeated quietly, "I can't let my son be hurt."

The werewolf sprung. Mr. Lupin lifted his wand, only to feel it being pulled back down by his wife's hand. He shook her off and cried, "STUPEFY!"

The wolf fell to the ground, unconscious. Mrs. Lupin staggered back and gazed at her husband like she had never seen him before. "You…you…"

Mr. Lupin breathed a sigh of relief; then turned to face his shocked wife. "Ann…"

Before he could respond, both adults turned as they heard a low growl from nearby.

The wolf got to its feet, shaken but not defeated. It jumped.

"REMUS!" Mr. Lupin bellowed as the creature fell short and landed a few feet in front of him. "Remus Lupin! It's me, your father! Your daddy! Please Remus, remember me?"

The wolf regarded its prey with new curiosity, but the fathomless eyes remained dark and wild.

"Please!" Mrs. Lupin cried. But the predator was done stalking its meal. It wanted to attack.

"RUN!" Mr. Lupin yelled. The two humans bolted out of their room and into the hall. They slammed the door shut behind them, but the rotting wood wouldn't hold for long.

"What now?" Mrs. Lupin said, panicking.

"Find something to bar the door!" Mr. Lupin was already searching the hallway as he spoke. "I left my wand in the other room!"

"Here!" Mrs. Lupin dragged a heavy oak dresser into her husband's view.

Mr. Lupin pushed the dresser and moved it directly in front of the entryway. The thing that had once been an innocent little boy still smashed its exhausted body against it. Splinters of wood filled the air, but the parents were relieved to see it hold. Splashes of blood stained the sharp wood as it cut into the monster's skin. Soon its attempts to break down the door were feeble, and the werewolf lay down on the carpet, panting.

"Remus?" Mrs. Lupin asked quietly as she crept towards the door on tiptoe. A low growl issued from the other side. Taking a step back, the creature's mother huddled with her spouse in a corner and buried her face in his arms. The werewolf gave up the hunt and decided to find new prey. _I can smell it…_

The full moon high in the sky, Remus' parents sat together in the corner and wept as they listened to their son tear himself apart. Even thought the night was fairly short, it seemed like an eternity for the Lupin family. Finally, as the moon slipped below the horizon, the howls ceased and Mr. and Mrs. Lupin could hear their son's pitiful moans beyond the door.

Remus collapsed in a heap. The nightmare was finally over.

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A/N: Yay! Finally done! It only took forever to type! Sorry it took so long everyone. Review! Please!


	5. Aftermath

The band season is over! Yay! (And boo) Now I should be able to update much more frequently. (But I miss band…)

**TelepathicPrincess**- I don't care if the title doesn't start with two of the same letters, I just did that because I couldn't think of anything else. I read the 12th book too! What did you think of it? I thought it was okay, but kind of boring. It gave a lot of VFD info. I love long reviews, I don't mind. Then I can give you long replies! I play clarinet.

**moviegal3492- **Thank you very much. I think I'll never be as good as JK Rowling.

**PearlGirl**- I'm thinking about using the really cool thing… maybe I'll have two endings. One if you want to pretend the 6th book doesn't exist, and the second if you want a cooler ending. That would probably be the best way, I think. CALL ME!

A/N: Hi.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter, and frankly, I'm glad because that means I don't have to put up with him and his fans… well, maybe that's a lie. Harry Potter and all related stuff belong to JK Rowling and Warner Brothers. Oh, I don't own Goodnight Moon either.

'I was a very small boy when I recieved the bite. My parents tried everything, but in those days there was no cure.' - Remus Lupin, POA

After they had discovered their son in a pool of his own blood, Remus' parents rushed him to St. Mungo's.

"Is he okay?" Mrs. Lupin asked a healer shakily.

"He'll be alright," the woman said grimly, "but next time he might not be so lucky."

"Isn't there anything we can do? A potion, a spell? _Something? _Please!"

"No, I'm afraid not. He has to learn on his own how to face this and beat it. There is no cure for lycanthropes at this time."

Remus awoke from a fitful sleep. He was in his own bed, but it had a new pillow and covers. _Thanks goodness it was only a dream- no, a terrible nightmare_. He could remember only snippets- the transformation, his father speaking to him, trying to reason with the monster he had been. Remus shuddered even though the room was pleasantly warm. He ached everywhere… it was only a dream… no, those bandages were from something else… only a dream… just a nightmare…

It was then that Remus saw the muggle repairman in his doorway. The remains of his old door lay in a pile at the man's feet. Huge slash marks in the wood had the man clearly shaken.

"What'd you say it was again? Some kinda pet?" he asked curiously.

"Yes," Remus heard his mother's timid voice in the room outside; "our dog was locked in there while we were on a trip, but he had to go to the loo so he broke out and…" she trailed off lamely.

"I guess that'll explain those stains on the carpet." The man said sarcastically.

"Er… he came back in after a wild animal attacked him."

"Oh, okay." The muggle said, unconvinced.

"Now see here," Mr. Lupin said loudly to the repairman, "We're paying you to install a new door, not ask nosy questions."

The man grumbled, but went back to screwing in shiny new hinges.

Remus' throat closed up. They didn't own a dog. He knew what had caused those stains; what had broken down the door…

"Remus?" Mrs. Lupin had discovered her son was awake. Remus just stared into space, his face chalky white.

"Sweetie, its fine. Don't worry." Mrs. Lupin obviously wanted to comfort Remus, but it was difficult with the muggle in the room.

"He liked the dog, did he?" the repairman asked.

"Yes." Mrs. Lupin answered absent-mindedly. Remus still didn't move.

Throughout the day Mr. and Mrs. Lupin made frequent checks on their seemingly petrified son. He hadn't moved more than a couple of feet since he had gotten up and remembered the previous night. Every time they looked in to see how he felt, Remus would stay curled in a ball, pale and shivering. Even after Mrs. Lupin threw a patchwork quilt upon his back, Remus still acted as if a Dementor had entered the room. Soon they couldn't take it anymore.

"Remus, honey, you need to come eat your supper." Mrs. Lupin called, concerned about her son's mental health.

Remus remained where he was.

"Son, you heard you mother, go eat!" Mr. Lupin vented some of his frustration.

Remus slid off the bed and quietly made his way to the kitchen. His parents didn't even notice him walking in.

After a silent, depressing meal, the Lupin family got ready for bed. Remus changed into his pajamas without comment, and noiselessly snuggled into his fresh sheets.

"Would you like a bedtime story sweetie?" Mrs. Lupin asked tentatively. Remus nodded, but made no inclination as to pick a book out. His mother left the room and returned shortly with one in her arms.

"Your favorite, Goodnight Moon," Mrs. Lupin said fondly, showing the cover to Remus. Remus just stared at the picture on the cover, his face blank. Suddenly he knocked the book out of his mother's hands.

"NO! THAT'S HOW IT HAPPENED!" Remus was screaming furiously at his shocked mother. "THAT- THAT THING! I HATE IT! IT MADE ME EVIL! GO AWAY! TAKE IT AWAY!"

Remus ran over and picked the story up off the bloodstained floor.

"SEE!" he yelled, pointing forcefully at the full moon on the cover.

Mrs. Lupin stood staring at her son completely thunderstruck. Remus' father ran into the doorway, attracted by the commotion. Remus flung the book across the room and buried himself under the covers of his bed.

The book hit the wall and came to rest, pages down, open on the floor. Mr. Lupin glanced bewilderedly at his wife then moved cautiously towards the bed.

"Remus?" he asked quietly as he pulled back the sheets. His son was curled up in a tight ball with his face hidden in his arms. Mr. Lupin lifted Remus' head carefully and saw his cheeks were wet with tears.

"Is this why I can't have any friends?" Remus asked miserably.

"Yes," his father said.

"Daddy?"

"What is it?"

"I'm scared."

Mr. Lupin cradled his son in his arms and wiped the tears away with the back of his hand.

"I don't blame you. This is something pretty scary for your mother and me too."

"But…I don't wanna have to do it again. Can't I take mum's medicine, or you can do magic and it'll all go away?"

Mr. Lupin sighed. "I wish it was that easy Remus. I'm sorry son, no."

Remus lay in his father's arms until the clock in his home chimed twelve times. Finally the little boy slipped into a peaceful sleep, and Mr. Lupin carefully placed his son down on the mattress.

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A/N: Everybody with me- Awww! It was short but sweet. I still need a new title! Come on people, I'm desperate here! REVIEW!


	6. Education

Any apology I make won't be enough! I haven't updated in a REALLY long time. And I don't really have an excuse… well, here's the update everyone's been waiting for! Terribly sorry it took so long…

**TelepathicPrincess**- You're such a faithful reviewer! My favorite books in the ASOUE series…? Hm, I'd have to say The Ersatz Elevator. I really liked that one. You play clarinet? Yay! I love my clari'! It's definitely the best instrument as far as I'm concerned. Do you like band so far? You asked if I'm good… well, I'm okay I guess. My tone's got problems, so does my technique. I do love my clarinet though. It's an R13:-D I got lucky when I bought it (used, of course). I named it Jacques. Ha ha. What model is your clarinet? Is this a long enough reply for you:-)

**Morohtar**- Thanks for your opinion. I enjoy it when people tell me specifically what they liked about my writing. After you reviewed (I do this a lot) I looked at some of your stories. Your fanfic King Edmund's Crusade, I just have to say it's magnificent. I hope you write more things like it soon!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter or anything related to him. That's all J.K. Rowling's and Warner Brother's property.

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In the weeks that followed the full moon, Remus began to gain back some of his old persona. He challenged his father to chess almost every night, but was still unable to win. He ventured outdoors sometimes, but never did he step foot in the forest. Most of his days in the sun were spent swinging on an old tire Mr. Lupin had tied to a tree branch in the backyard.

The school year was approaching fast and Remus' parents didn't know what to do.

"We could have him continue to go to muggle school, they'll never know- what he is." Mrs. Lupin said to her husband one foggy night.

"No, it's still too dangerous. We don't know for sure how he'll act around other children." Mr. Lupin ran his fingers through his hair then continued. "And what about play dates? And school activity nights? He would have no explanation for missing them during the full moon."

"But… how will he gain an education? We're still not positive if he's magical or not."

"Perhaps we can get him accepted into Hogwarts. Until then, I think its best we keep him away from other human contact." Mr. Lupin sighed heavily. "Having no friends will break his heart."

"Exactly! I think a few muggle friends will do him good, and-" Mrs. Lupin was cut off.

"Do you have any idea how angry that would make some people if they found out? They think werewolves-" both parents flinched inwardly- "are abominations, barbarians! What if a muggle child is somehow related to a witch or wizard? They could find out and tell everyone in the whole town. Then Remus would definitely have no friends, and we would be shunned from society!" Mr. Lupin paused and looked unhappily at his wife. "Maybe when he's older he can have a few friends."

"He still needs an education!" Mrs. Lupin protested. "If need be, I'll home school him. I used to be a teacher after all."

"That sounds perfect." Mr. Lupin said with a tone of finality in his voice.

And so Remus was taught all kinds of information at home by his mother and his father as well. Besides mathematics (which Mr. Lupin believed was the true root of all evil) and history, he learned how to read and write fluently in a very short period of time. Since Mrs. Lupin was a muggle, she couldn't teach Remus very much when it came to magic, so it was up to Remus' father to inform him of the wizarding world. Remus found it very funny when he saw his mother peeking into the room while his father talked about magic, even when she said it was all nonsense and he should be learning geography instead of wasting time on charms.

Remus soon knew all about Hogwarts, the wizard gold and muggle money systems, and even how to ride a broomstick (the Lupin family was far too poor to buy one, so Mr. Lupin improvised with a cleverly bewitched mop). He learned about magic creatures such as bowtruckles and kneazles; and dueling, which his father said would become particularly useful later in life. Although Remus was unable to use magic, his father practiced wand movements and spell incantations with him using a plain old stick.

But even more than Remus loved these magic lessons with his father, Remus adored reading. As soon as he could decipher the marks on their pages, Remus immersed himself in every book on the shelf. Books provided him a much needed escape from the horrors of real life. He read everything from Shakespeare to Hogwarts, A History, finding the whole lot absolutely fascinating. The only book he didn't even dare to look at was what had once been his favorite. Goodnight Moon lay abandoned in a dusty cupboard in the Lupin kitchen, hidden behind boxes of pudding and tins of biscuits. Mrs. Lupin had placed it there after that miserable night of the row, careful Remus never noticed it. He never asked where it had gone, and didn't appear to care, which suited everyone perfectly.

As the next full moon loomed nearer, the Lupins were all increasingly edgy, Remus especially. Luckily he still had plenty of reading material to keep his mind occupied, but the supply was diminishing. Their shelves of books were limited, and the Lupins were unable to buy more because the new door for Remus' room had been so expensive. It was made of solid oak wood, so escape was impossible during Remus' next transformation.

Mr. and Mrs. Lupin recalled that there were no windows in Remus' bedroom (it was a closet, after all) to their utmost relief. They were also glad last time Remus hadn't tried to break out of their bedroom through the window; that could have caused havoc throughout the town.

With every book Remus read; every page he turned, the full moon crept closer and closer, until the day of mayhem was upon him.

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A/N: Well, sorry for the kind of cliffhanger ending. And if anyone asks how on earth Remus could have learned so much in only a month or less, remember he has nothing else to do except be taught by his mother, and his father after he comes home from work. I hope to get the next chapter posted MUCH sooner than this one. PLEASE REVIEW!


	7. Goodnight Moon

I haven't updated in forever! Apologies to everyone. I had more pressing matters to deal with in the genre of writing, such as twenty page term papers. Anyway, here's the long awaited update.

A/N: Apparently I'm no longer allowed to respond to reader reviews. Is this true? Anyone know? I personally think it's a stupid rule, but whatever. Just know that all reviewers are much appreciated!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or any related characters, themes, places etc. They belong to J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers. Too bad, cause they must be rolling in dough this time of year too, what with the fifth movie and the seventh book…

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Remus sat on the hot black tire swing hanging in his backyard. He was reading in the blazing sunlight, and although his skin was turning pink and he had to squint to see the pages of his book, Remus was savoring the day. He didn't want to think about that evening. Despite his efforts to ignore it, his parents had brought up the problem at breakfast.

"Remus?" Mrs. Lupin had asked, rather hesitantly.

"Yes, mum." Remus wasn't actually paying attention at first, he had figured his mother wanted his socks folded or some other household chore completed.

"Well, your father and I have been discussing what we're doing tonight." Remus looked up at his mother, his face full of apprehension. She was gazing tentatively down at him, gauging his reaction.

Mr. Lupin picked up where his wife had left off. "And we've decided to do the same as last time… except this time you shouldn't get out, with your new door and all."

Remus stared into his cereal and tried to act indifferent, but he knew his parents saw the fear in his eyes.

"Does that sound alright?" Mrs. Lupin asked quietly.

Remus shrugged. It didn't matter where he went, the transformation would still be the same. Just as painful and horrifying.

Since he had left the table and watched his father leave for work, Remus had spent the afternoon reading, burying himself in other worlds so he wouldn't have to face the reality of his own. He had finished three books by lunchtime, but soon the hot sun beating down on him forced Remus to retreat indoors. He knew that sooner or later he would have to face the inevitable. Remus' eyes ached and his face; which had been rosy just minutes ago; was now pale and clammy. Much to Remus' annoyance, his mother acted as if nothing was going to happen. _But you're doing that as well_, a voice in the back of his head said. _Don't deny it. You're a monster_. _NO!_ Remus shook his head to try and empty his thoughts. He let his mother continue to believe nothing was wrong.

"Remus, your hair is getting ridiculous! Won't you just let me snip a bit off?" Mrs. Lupin tousled her son's sandy brown locks as he finished his lunch. Remus groaned. His mother had been complaining about the length of his hair for the past month. "Fine mum. Let's get it over with." Remus felt surprisingly better after his tresses littered the floor, even though twilight was creeping nearer and nearer. Lifting his newly lighter head, Remus grabbed a book and hopped outside to explore the garden.

Since his father had taught him all the magic beasts he knew, Remus had been searching the garden for a glimpse of one. He had already discovered a gnome hole network, a doxy nest, two bowtruckles and an innumerable amount of pixies and fairies. Luckily none of the creatures had caused Remus any harm, but some frightened him greatly. The doxies had exploded angrily and swarmed around Remus' face when he had stumbled upon their nest, but he had escaped before they could attack. One of the bowtruckles had tried to slash Remus' ankle, but he had yelped in alarm and jumped away as it raised its sharp-fingered arm. Although these incidents had startled him a great deal, there was one that left Remus scarred.

He had been studying a pinkish mushroom near the forest one cool evening when the night had suddenly turned dark. Remus had looked up from the mushroom, and was surprised to see his breath in midair. _It's not _that_ cold… _Remus had begun to back up towards the house, but before he had turned around and run the rest of the way, he saw it- a dark, menacing shape sweeping through the trees. His heart had skipped a beat as Remus heard the creature issue a rattling breath, and he ran behind a tomato bush to try and hide. For one endless moment, Remus had heard the breathing growing closer and closer to his cover, but then the night had become its normal temperature and the despair Remus had felt vanished in an instant. He had breathed a quick sigh of relief and run inside as fast as his legs could carry him. Breathlessly, Remus had related to his mother the entire experience. Halfway through his story, Mr. Lupin had appeared and listened in as well. When Remus had finished, both his parents had shared darkly significant looks ad shooed him to bed. Remus had attempted eavesdropping on them after they shut the door, but his father had put a charm on the door. His parents had never mentioned the incident since, but for a long time afterward Remus could see his mother watching him through the window as he played outside.

This afternoon was much warmer than it had been the night he saw the dark shadow, which made it perfect for pixie hunting. The tiny electric blue tricksters buzzed through the air, avoiding Remus' outstretched arms. He was careful to dodge their clever pranks, such as when one pixie had plucked a spiny nettle from the weeds and tried to poke Remus in the eye. The poor prankster had been whacked with Remus' heavy book, and now lay unconscious on the ground. Remus continued this pastime until his mum found him around supper.

"Remus John Lupin! What on earth do you think you're doing?" Remus looked up at his mother, the smile wiped from his face.

"How many times do I have to tell you, pixies are dangerous!" Hands on her hips, Mrs. Lupin gave Remus a withering look.

"Sorry." Remus muttered, eyes in the ground. He had been happy for the past hour, an oblivious little boy enjoying himself. Now the nightmare pressed down on him again, threatening to crush his tiny body. The air was cooler, the sky darkening. How could he have missed it? Only a few hours left…

Remus followed his mother inside and sat at the stained kitchen table along with his father. "Remus, would you like to say grace?" Mrs. Lupin looked at her son encouragingly.

Remus didn't have the heart to say no, he felt like running into his room and hiding under the covers, so he folded his hands and began. "Dear Lord, thank you for today, and for this wonderful food. Amen." Remus had recited rather quickly, and he knew he should have said more, but he was already beginning to feel sick and jumpy. A fast meal would probably be best… "Thank you." Mrs. Lupin acted as if her son had preached an entire sermon in their presence.

After Remus had gulped down as much of the potatoes as he could, he got up from the table and walked to his bedroom.

"Hey son, want to play some chess?" Mr. Lupin asked his son. He sounded encouraging, but Remus could hear layers of concern hidden in his voice.

"Is that really a good idea John?" Remus heard his mother whispering as he turned around.

"No thanks dad," Remus said loudly as if he hadn't heard his mother, "I think I'd better go to sleep."

Mr. Lupin looked at his son, puzzled for a moment, then dawning realization swept his face. "Remus-" Mr. Lupin didn't know how to begin. He took a deep breath.

"Son, sometimes there's things in life we can't avoid. You just have to face it and hope for the best." Remus gazed anxiously at his father as he continued to speak.

"Tonight, we don't know what will happen. And we know it's hard…"

Remus knew his father was trying to help him, but he could still feel anger bubbling up quietly inside him. He didn't want to face it. He wanted it to disappear…

"But you have to be strong and fight it out. Face your fears, meet them head-on."

"I DON'T WANT TO!" Remus finally cried out. "I CAN PRETEND!"

"Yes, but Remus, pretending won't make it any less worse." Mr. Lupin reasoned quietly.

Remus didn't say anything. He felt guilty from hiding and pretending, but it made him feel better for the time being. Deep down he knew his father was right.

"Come on." Mr. Lupin carefully steered his son into his bedroom and sat him down on the mattress.

"We'll be here with you." Mrs. Lupin said as she kissed Remus on the forehead. She backed away, almost too quickly, as if her son had already sprouted fangs. Remus knew she was afraid of him.

"G-goodnight." Remus said, his voice shaking.

"Goodbye." Mr. Lupin said as he closed the door.

The worms were back, wiggling inside… pain swept Remus' body as he began to twitch, as his newly cut hair began to grow. The werewolf was surfacing once again in Remus' mind, forcing him out, taking control. Remus pushed it back down.

"MUM!" Remus screamed in agony as the werewolf tried to enter again. "DON'T LET IT TAKE ME!"

Remus dropped down on all fours, still fighting the creature inside his head. The battle waged on for much longer than it had last time- until finally Remus gave up and the monster fully emerged.

Growling deep in its throat, the wolf circled the room once again. Sniffing every nook and cranny, it discovered nothing. Then it saw the door. _Human! It could smell their blood… WANT IT!_ Remus could see better this time, but it was still as if he were at the end of a long tunnel, incapable of comprehending what the wolf was doing, what _he_ was doing. The animal jumped at the strong oak door, slamming it with such force the adults on the other side started.

"It'll hold… it'll hold… I put a charm on it to make it stronger… don't worry, it'll hold…" Mr. Lupin muttered to himself and his wife for reassurance.

Another blow to the door. So far the wood hadn't suffered any damage, but for how long it would hold up, neither parent knew.

Snarling angrily, the werewolf sensibly stopped battering the door, realizing it was no use. HUMAN! The smell was overpowering… male and female prey, just on the other side, unreachable. It would never be satisfied without their blood. Something to bite, kill, anything… the wolf began to sink its fangs into its own fur once again, causing itself terrible, blinding pain, making the monster even more angry. The wolf went on a rampage around the room; blood was everywhere, hair covering the floor. Behind the wild yellow eyes, a little boy peered out, disgusted and mortified by what he was doing… but he couldn't stop. The werewolf was far too powerful.

Mr. and Mrs. Lupin were scared out of their wits. Hearing their son howl and suffer was much worse than the fear of the door breaking down. The most upsetting part of all was that they couldn't help him, even though they knew he was killing himself.

"Perhaps if I just opened the door and stunned him?" Mr. Lupin suggested, his face white as milk.

"No. you know he could jump quicker than that. Last time you got lucky." Mrs. Lupin sighed in frustration and worry. Her face was scrunched up from the effort of not crying. She couldn't hold it anymore. "We have to do something! He's dying! We can't go back to St. Mungo's again! The cost is too high, and our insurance won't cover it!" Mrs. Lupin spilled out the words in a flood of tears. "I don't want to lose another child, John." She said in barely a whisper.

"You won't" Mr. Lupin said firmly and he gathered his wife into his arms.

The wolf could hear voices outside the room and paused to listen for a moment. Stupid human banter. It continued biting, shredding, ripping, and tearing.

"REMUS!" Mr. Lupin yelled so his son could hear.

The werewolf stopped. More stupid human words- if there was no blood, there was no point. It tried to carry on, but the little boy inside was making it hesitate. _I am more powerful_, the wolf cried out, and it bit itself to prove it.

"Remus John Lupin, listen to us!" Mrs. Lupin joined her husband.

Something stirred in the back of the wolf's head. _Mum!_ Remus cried, _I can hear you... _For a moment the wolf's eyes turned soft, and it whimpered pitifully. Then the creature of the night fought back. I AM IN CONTROL! A loud raucous howl filled the bedroom, and the werewolf tore a piece of fur from its tail.

"This isn't working." Mrs. Lupin bit her lip.

"He whimpered! I heard him calm down, Ann, I know I did!" Mr. Lupin said excitedly.

"But listen now!" Mrs. Lupin retaliated. Still, he had a point. She thought she had heard it to, just for a moment…

"Perhaps we need to remind Remus of who he is. Maybe something to stir his memory…" Mr. Lupin trailed off.

"That's it! Tell him how to play chess." Mrs. Lupin cried.

"Chess?" Mr. Lupin didn't understand the joy on his wife's face.

"Yes!"

"Alright." Mr. Lupin hesitated and began. "Remus, do you remember chess? White always goes first…" He went on to explain the rules of the game. At first the monster didn't react. Then, slowly but surely the howls died down, the growls changed to panting. The wolf became tamer; the mind of Remus was gaining power. But the reminder wasn't strong enough. Soon the growls began, and blood once again leaked out into the carpet.

"We need something Remus is more familiar with!" Mr. Lupin yelled over the howls.

"I know!" Mrs. Lupin yelled, realization spreading over her face. She jumped up and hustled over to the kitchen. Mr. Lupin heard the bang of a cupboard door being slammed shut and his wife reappeared in the room with a dusty book cradled in her arms.

"_Goodnight Moon_," she whispered, opening to the first page.

As Mrs. Lupin's soft voice filled the air, the noises in the bedroom beyond ceased almost immediately.

"It's working…" Mr. Lupin whispered excitedly.

Inside, the wolf lay its head down on the rug and listened to the human's words against its will. Remus had taken control, at least for the time being. As what was once his favorite book was read to him by his mother, Remus slowly calmed the creature, forced it to lie peacefully on the floor. It took all of his mental and physical concentration.

"Goodnight bears, goodnight chairs…" Mrs. Lupin said sweetly. The room was dead silent except for her voice. As she turned to the last page, wondering what to do once the book was finished, the werewolf resurfaced. The last line was read hurriedly, for the growls were starting up once more.

"Try reading it again!" Mr. Lupin yelled over the noise.

So Mrs. Lupin opened the book. This time there was no silence in Remus' room. The boy was exhausted from keeping the creature subdued for so long. He couldn't hold it anymore. The werewolf reigned again.

Mr. and Mrs. Lupin spent the rest of the night coaxing and talking to their demented son. Sometimes it seemed he was almost Remus again, almost normal. But then the snarls would take over.

The full moon looked down upon the broken family, the thing that caused their pain, spreading its ghostly light across the world.

Remus could feel the wolf leaving, receding into the back of his mind. It let out one last whimper, and Remus began to change. Fingernails shrinking, tail disappearing; soon only an innocent little boy lay gasping for air on the bed; all that remained of the monster.

Mrs. Lupin opened the door a crack, and seeing her son was safe, rushed inside.

The last thing Remus saw that night was his mother's worried face swimming above him. Then he surrendered to the excruciating pain.

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A/N: A nice long chapter to make up for lost time! Review, review, review!


	8. Tears and Secrets

Well, I'm trying to update much more often, at least before the summer is over! I am currently writing chapter 12 or something, but it takes me much longer to type and edit each chapter, so I'm only posting number 8. All I can say is the story gets much more interesting…

A bucket of cookies goes to all of my reviewers! I love you people!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter or any related stuff. They are the property of the genius J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers. I must say, both the fifth movie and the seventh book held up to my expectations. I won't give anything away.

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Another trip to St. Mungo's had left the Lupin family utterly poor. They barely had enough food to keep everyone from going hungry. Mr. Lupin was very strained, always snapping at anyone who interrupted his work. Remus wasn't sure what his father did to support the family, but he knew it was in the Ministry of Magic, somewhere in the lower levels. He never spoke about anything that had happened during his workday.

_The pay must not be good_, Remus thought, _if_ _we can't even afford food_. He pitied his father, and felt guilty. His hospital visit was the root of the trouble, a black hole slowly sucking up their meager income. But one thing Remus could never fully understand was why they always seemed to be losing money, even when they had not had a recent problem that required sufficient funds, such as his hospital visits. Where was all of the money going?

Mrs. Lupin had once been a muggle school teacher, but now she stayed home with her son and home-schooled him. _But she left work before that_, Remus mused, _why did she leave earlier? Don't we need more money? Why did she quit before when we needed it? _Remus kept his thoughts to himself most times, except for one night about a week after the full moon.

Mr. and Mrs. Lupin were whispering in the kitchen around Remus' bedtime. He tiptoed to the slightly open door and listened carefully to what they were voicing.

"Should we take her off it? I don't see the point." Mr. Lupin looked weary and under pressure.

"How? I can't do that, you know I can't!" Mrs. Lupin sounded either very upset, very depressed, or both, Remus couldn't tell for sure because she wasn't visible.

"Should we tell Remus?" Mr. Lupin asked quietly.

"No! We agreed on that ages ago. He'll have nightmares wherever he goes, he'll never forgive us! It would horrify him, tear him apart!" Mrs. Lupin hissed.

"Then why are we keeping her!?" Mr. Lupin spat back.

Remus heard a noise halfway between a sigh and a sob from across the table. He wondered if his mother were truly crying.

"Fine, alright." Mr. Lupin said dejectedly and Remus heard his walk over to his wife. When he spoke again his voice was a persuasive murmur. Remus could imagine him with his hands on his mother's shoulders, whispering in her ear. He strained to hear.

"But we're losing so much of our income, Ann. Besides, it seems a lost cause. There's nothing left. You need to accept that."

Mrs. Lupin slapped a hand down on the table. "I CAN'T!" she cried out in anguish.

"Alright, but should we…"

Remus felt as curious as the Alice in Wonderland he had read about recently. Who was this "she"? What was making his family so poor?

"It's late, let's go." Mr. Lupin said, and Remus saw him rubbing his eyes as he came into view. "I'll go put Remus to bed." Remus could hear Mrs. Lupin slide her chair out from the table. He jumped up in shock as a jolt of adrenaline rushed through his body. Remus ran breathlessly to his room, but he wasn't fast enough.

"REMUS! What are you doing?"

Remus stopped in his tracks and tried to look innocent and carefree. "Nothing," he said, turning to face his mother as he attempted to control his breathing.

"Oh, I believe that." She said sarcastically, her hands on her hips. Remus noticed that her eyes were red and puffy.

"Did you hear us, in the kitchen?" Mr. Lupin asked as he came out into the hallway.

Remus debated lying, but his curiosity overcame his fear of punishment. "Yes!" he said eagerly. His words spilled out before he could stop. "What was that? Who is she? What's making us so poor? Why can't you tell me?" Remus sputtered and put a hand over his mouth. He knew he had gone too far, because his mother was beginning to puff up like a circus balloon. Strangely, it was his father who spoke first.

"Son, I think it's time to tell you-" Mr. Lupin began.

"Nothing dear, absolutely nothing." Mrs. Lupin interrupted, giving her husband a deadly glare.

"You're hiding something!" Remus shouted angrily. His parents had never done this before. "Why can't I know!? I'm your kid! I-"

"REMUS, I ABSOLUTELY FORBID YOU TO EVEN MENTION ANYTHING YOU HEARD IN THAT ROOM!" Mrs. Lupin bellowed, reducing herself to her normal size.

Remus stood stock still, mouth open wide. His mother had never lost her temper like that.

"Ann, really, I-"

"NO John!" Mrs. Lupin silenced her husband and gave him a glare that could kill a basilisk. "Remus," she said, much calmer, "Go to bed."

"Yes, ma'am." Remus said shamefaced, his voice trembling. He ran off to his room as fast as his legs could carry him. Lying on his mattress, staring at the ceiling, Remus ran over what he had heard in his head. What was this strange new secret his parents were hiding, and why would his mother act like that? _Curiouser and curiouser…_

He vowed to find out what was going on. _But curiosity killed the cat…_ a small voice in his head echoed. _Yeah, but I'm not a cat, am I? I'm a wolf._

Remus sighed and slowly drifted off to sleep, dreaming of garden mazes with no exit.

-----

Remus awoke the morning after he heard his parents talking, just as curious as the night before, but much more cautious. He had decided to try and weed the answer out of his father, because he doubted his mum would reveal anything and his dad was the one who had argued to tell Remus what was going on.

He got dressed and walked into the kitchen, his mind set on what he was about to do. His mum was making breakfast on their tiny wooden stove, and she didn't see Remus come in. Mr. Lupin must have already gone to work, because Remus couldn't see him and there was a used bowl on the table. "Oatmeal again?" Remus groaned.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but you know it's the cheapest at the market. Look!" She smiled and held up a handful of blackberries. "We have some fresh fruit from the garden to spruce it up!"

Remus smiled halfheartedly and sat down. The family meals had gotten smaller and cheaper, until breakfast was nearly always dry flaky oatmeal; lunch, a small sandwich or soup, and supper some vegetables and potatoes, meat if it was on sale. Mr. Lupin had offered to use magic to cook and make the meals tastier, but he always burned everything Mrs. Lupin had bought and it was impossible for him to create food from nothing.

The first couple of days hadn't been bad, but soon the effects of malnutrition began to show. The Lupins were getting thinner and weaker, but not so thin that the muggles in their town suspected any problems. Many of them supposed it was the effects of stress over a sick son. Mr. Lupin's hair seemed to be losing its shine, and Mrs. Lupin was more on edge than usual.

Remus gulped his oatmeal down without comment and rushed outside with a book. He was rereading _Hogwarts, A History_, which was getting quite old seeing as it was the fourth time. He longed for new material, but it was out of the question. With their income being sucked into the effects of his illness and some unknown source, Remus would just have to wait.

The afternoon passed quickly, and after eating his sandwich Remus decided to stop reading and do something active. Before the bite (Remus shuddered) he would have gone into town with his mum while she went shopping, but now he couldn't come into contact with anyone.

About a week after Remus hadn't shown up at his muggle school, his friends had begun to stop by, asking why Remus couldn't play. His mother had told them Remus had the stomach flu, and he couldn't see anyone. Remus had watched sadly from the window as his best friends, muggles, left the house with hung heads. They didn't know they would never see him again.

Now it was about a month since then, and Remus' friends had given up hope. He felt horrible for tricking them (his mother had told them Remus had a dangerous contagious illness, which was partly true).Without companions to spend time with, Remus found himself reading more and talking to his parents often. His vocabulary had vastly expanded since he had begun to read so much, and Mrs. Lupin began to call her son "My little man" or, "The professor", which was very annoying. Luckily, there was no way to be embarrassed, since the only people he came in contact with were the ones doing the embarrassing things.

Unable to go into town, Remus settled for garden tromping once again. The familiar pixies zoomed out of the plants as he walked by, and Remus swatted them nonchalantly. He was intent on exploring a large tomato bush in the midst of the carrots, where he had seen a poky sort of animal that he suspected was a hedgehog. At least it was something to do while he waited for his father to come home so he could weed the secret out of him…

The afternoon slipped into evening, and Mrs. Lupin returned from her shopping, white-faced and upset.

"Mum, are you okay?" Remus saw her wobbly steps and watched her collapse into a chair. Head in her hands, she whispered, "No, Remus. Not really."

"What is it?"

Heaving a deep sign, Mrs. Lupin looked up at her concerned son. "I think one of our neighbors is extremely suspicious," she said. "While I was shopping a woman in line kept giving me funny looks out of the corner of her eye."

Remus didn't say anything. How could a muggle know what was wrong with him?

"I tried to ignore it but soon I was just sick of her. She lives a ways away, but I think she's noticed your absence at school. Finally I said, 'Katherine! How are you these days?' It seemed she didn't want to answer me, but eventually she said, 'Alright.'" Mrs. Lupin sighed again and looked to her son before continuing.

"I thought our conversation was over, but then Katherine said 'How's your kid, Ann? Remus, isn't it?' Her voice was colder, accusing me. 'Yes, it's Remus,' I said. I was angry. 'He's not too good, you know he's sick.' Katherine nodded at me. 'What does he have?' she asked. Remus, I can't take questions like that anymore! What should I say?" She looked at her son desperately, as if her neighbors' prying eyes were still fixated on her back and she wanted him to curse them away.

"What'd you do?" Remus asked.

"I- I told her you have a dangerous contagious illness, but she wanted to know which one. She wasn't concerned. She was prying." Mrs. Lupin gulped. "I told her the doctors don't know yet."

"That sounds fine!" Remus patted his mother gently.

"It won't work for long." Mrs. Lupin choked out, close to tears. She seemed to be crying a lot more frequently, Remus noticed.

"All the muggles are getting suspicious. And what if your father is confronted by someone?" Mrs. Lupin sniffed. "He doesn't even know how to pronounce 'doctor'!" At this she burst into tears.

Remus winced. He had no idea how to confront his mum in this state. _I wish dad was here, he'd know what to do… _

Anastasia Lupin continued ranting. "A-and with all out money going towards-" Remus sat up, suddenly alert. His mother hiccupped and Remus looked back to the ground, disappointed. He felt so guilty about trying to discover secrets from his mother in this way, but he had been so close…

Mrs. Lupin tried to pull herself together, but was unsuccessful. Remus spent the rest of the uncomfortable evening willing his father to hurry up at work. When he finally walked in the front door around dinnertime, Remus let out a silent sigh of relief and ran out to meet him.

"Mum's…. well, come look."

Mr. Lupin hurried to the kitchen only to find his wife curled up on a chair, eyes red and puffy, a mountain of Kleenex piled in front of her. A blanket wrapped around her shoulders and a cup of tea shaking in her hand were the subtle signs of Remus' efforts at comforting her. Mr. Lupin ran over to her.

"Honey, what happened? What's wrong?" he asked, face full of concern.

"Oh, John…" Ann began a wave of fresh sobs and fell into her husband's open arms. She went on to explain the incident at the grocery, her voice shaking. Remus sat by patiently waiting for her to finish. He was sure his parents would discuss this after she was done… maybe he could find out something then…

"Don't worry Ann, everything's gonna be fine." Mr. Lupin stroked her hair. Remus watched sadly, all thoughts of forcing secrets out of his parents dissolving. They really believed they were in trouble…

He felt sorry for his mother, but her breakdown over a simple confrontation in a grocer's was getting on his nerves. He wanted to help her pull herself back together, but what could he do?

"Mum," Remus blurted out suddenly.

Anastasia turned, startled, to her son. "Y-yes, dear. What is it?"

"I know you don't like this… but I-" Remus gulped. "I'm so sorry! It's all my fault! If I had just listened to you in the first-"

"Shhhh…." Mrs. Lupin put a finger to her son's lips, tears still falling. "It's not your fault at all."

"Really… it's-" Remus hated lying to his parents, but he could think of no other way to comfort them. "It's not that bad being a- a- werewolf." _There, he had said it_. Both parents flinched at the word, as usual. "I don't want you to get all upset about it. We'll figure it out!" Remus watched as more tears poured down his mother's face. "Come on! Cheer up, please!" he added hopefully. He didn't want his family falling to pieces for his sake.

Mrs. Lupin sniffed and looked warmly at her son. "Spoken like a brave young man. Thank you Remus."

Remus felt himself blush, party from embarrassment, partly from guilt over previously trying to pry into his parent's secrets. He decided, at least for now, to leave his parents be. He had already caused too much trouble for them.

Mr. Lupin broke the silence by clapping his hands together and rubbing them rapidly.

"Whaddya say I whip us up some grub?" he said in a falsely cheerful voice.

Remus smiled, but exchanged a pained look with his mother as Mr. Lupin rolled up his sleeves, pulled out his wand, and smoke filled the tiny house.

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A/N: Ah, why does Remus have to give up so quickly? What is the secret his parents are hiding? Find out soon! Oh, and PLEASE REVIEW!!!


	9. Michael Parker Gibbins VI

An update this soon? Visualpurple must have gone insane! How on earth did she get this much time on her hands!? Actually, I want to get to the really good chapters coming up, so I'm working at a much more feverish pace than I normally would.

Mil gracias to all of my lovely reviewers! Telepathic Princess, kgk89, Not Your Ordinary HP Fan, lilacBookstar, Risu, Zazzle, Rebellwithoutacause, and clovr, you all get a free, one-of-a-kind hug from the author!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter or any of his friends, and especially not Remus Lupin who I'm told is the property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers. How sad.

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As the weeks passed by, Remus became increasingly lonely. He had read every book the Lupins owned, and had resorted to "window watching", a newfound activity that was the most interesting thing to do other than exploring the garden, which was only so large. He would stand on a chair and peer out of a crack in the curtains hanging in the front window, watching the people pass by. Recently the path that lead by the Lupin household had become much more crowded than usual, which Remus figured had to do with the many rumors his mother and father brought home…

_The Lupin child has a dangerous deadly disease and has to be locked up indoors…_

_He ate some bad food and went insane…_

_I heard he got a new pet and its wreaking havoc on the house so he has to stay home to control it…_

_He was abducted by aliens!_

These rumors, mostly farfetched, didn't bother Remus much, but his parents were anxious. Apparently they thought the neighbors would resort to breaking down the door and demanding to see their son immediately. Remus did his best to ignore their worried arguments about what to do with him. He just stood by the window and watched the life he could be living pass by.

Every time a new specimen meandered down the path, Remus mentally noted their appearance and inquired about it at dinner. Soon he knew half the town, without ever leaving the house. Katherine Willard and her husband, Morton, were by far the most frequent visitors, walking by at least once every other day. They would crane their necks in what they thought was a nonchalant way, trying to get a glimpse of the mystery boy inside. Remus would duck down until they passed, then pop up and stick his tongue out at their retreating backs. He had still not forgotten Mrs. Willard's encounter with his mother in the market that had left her so upset.

Mrs. Willard had pinched lips and a large amount of make-up applied to her face which gave her the appearance of a ghoul. Remus had once compared her appearance to a picture of a ghoul in a book about magical beasts and decided that Mrs. Willard could be the creature's long-lost cousin.

Her husband, Mr. Willard, had thick glasses and a crop of very messy brown hair. He wore a permanently haughty expression, as if he knew something you didn't. The Willards occasionally strolled by with their sons, Patrick and Henry. At first Remus thought this coincidence, but he found out from his father that Morton Willard was obsessed with American history and had named his sons accordingly.

Yes, Remus knew many of the neighbors and their families, but he could not speak with them, or play with them. The glass barrier separating them signified their many differences, and Remus knew it was impossible for him to have friends. Until the impossible happened.

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Remus sat in the tire swing in his backyard, letting it sway slowly in a gloomy dance to match his mood. He had spent the morning window watching, with no reward but boredom so complete he had seriously debated taking a nap to ease his drooping eyelids. Lazily drifting in the wind, Remus watched a troop of ants marching in the looming shadow of his tire swing without fear. If only he could be just as brave.

A loud crash jerked Remus upright, causing him to hit his head on the top of the tire. Rubbing his scalp, Remus slid out of the tire and peered around the tree it was hanging from. There, standing in the forest like it was the most normal thing to do, was a boy. Remus' jaw dropped.

The boy had straw blonde hair sticking out at odd angles, a pair of oval glasses that barely covered his large brown eyes, and a huge grin revealing three missing teeth. He wore an olive green vest over a white shirt, and a pair of wrinkled dark green trousers. Remus looked down at his feet, surprised to see him sporting shiny new black shoes in the muddy forest. Remus was reminded vaguely of a string bean, some of which were growing behind him in his mother's garden.

"Hiya." The boy said in a squeaky voice. "My name's Michael Parker Gibbins the sixth, but you can call me Mike. I'm five. I like to play croquet and I like science. What's your name?"

Remus blinked rapidly as the boy, Mike, grabbed a huge gulp of air, for his announcement had been made all in one breath. Remus had the feeling that the boy was a muggle. He didn't know what to say. He wasn't allowed to talk to other children, his parents forbid him from doing so. But this muggle boy, the same age as Remus, couldn't do any harm, could he? Remus was surprised to see another person his age, especially someone who he hadn't seen on his many "window watching" sessions.

"Hey, hey, I'm talkin' to you!" Mike said fervently. "You deaf or sumthin'? Come on, what's your name?"

"Remus," Remus said quietly, still in shock.

"Wow, I never met a Remus before. That's a odd name, ain't it? Hey! Do you like croquet? We could go play some! I just set up the course in my backyard." Michael Parker Gibbins VI came up for air, impatiently waiting for Remus' answer.

Remus highly disliked Mike from first impression, but he was so glad to hear another kid's voice he didn't even care that Mike was a weirdo. He wanted to go play with this boy… but he wasn't allowed…

"Sorry, my mum says I can't play with anyone," Remus said sadly.

"Your mum?" Mike asked, although it was a pointless question and he left Remus no time to answer, as he continued, "I got a mum! Her name's Lucy. I got a dad too. His name's Michael Parker Gibbins, just like me, but he's got a fifth on the end, 'stead of a sixth, like me. You got a dad Remus?"

"Yeah," Remus said quickly as Mike gulped air, afraid he wouldn't be able to get his answer in before Mike continued. "My dad's really nice."

"Really? Well, he can't be all that nice, not lettin' you play croquet with anyone like me."

Remus scowled. He really did not like this boy. But then again… he could be his first actual friend! This muggle had no idea he was a werewolf, and hadn't once mentioned any of the rumors floating around town! He could just keep it a secret, and play with him whenever he wanted!

"Hey Mike," Remus interrupted the boy as he opened his mouth to plunge back into conversation, "Sure, I'll play croquet with you. Where's your backyard?"

Mike grinned and took another breath. "My house is just a few blocks down, but there's a shortcut through the forest, which only takes a couple a minutes. Whaddya say?"

Remus bit his lip. He couldn't go into the forest. Breaking one of his parents' rules was enough.

"Let's take the long way."

Mike shrugged. "Okay, whatever you say, Remus!" He trotted out of the Lupin's backyard and waited for Remus to catch up.

The two boys walked down the same path Remus had been watching earlier that day. Luckily no one was hanging around the house. The trip was a lot longer than Remus had expected, but he now understood why Mike had not heard anything about his "illness". As they passed the town, Remus grew nervous, afraid some neighbors would recognize him, or worst of all, his mother, who was out shopping for flour and selling her vegetables at the market.

"How much farther?" Remus voiced anxiously as they came into view of the cluster of houses marking the social gathering place of the town.

"Not far." Mike said eagerly. That was the shortest sentence Remus had heard him utter all day.

Finally, much to his relief, Remus stopped as Mike skipped up to a large blue house at the end of the path, almost a half mile away from the town square, the market, and Remus' mother. "Come on, slowpoke!" Mike yelled over his shoulder. Remus smiled for the first time in almost two weeks and ran to catch up.

He spent the remainder of the afternoon playing croquet with Mike, which normally would have been very tedious and annoying with him jabbering behind you about the angle and velocity of the ball, but Remus loved it. The excitement of finally getting away from his house was overpowering, and soon he wore a grin similar to Mike's.

After a time the shadows of the croquet arches lengthened, and Remus decided he had to leave so he could get back home in time. He said goodbye to Mike, who replied with a stream of observations and exclamations, then headed home. It felt good to get some exercise after being cooped up indoors and in his backyard for so long, and Remus began to walk with a bounce in his step. Whistling happily, he thought about the pleasant afternoon and maybe he could do this again, next time his mum went shopping.

Suddenly a figure turned out from the town square unto the path just ahead of Remus. He gasped and dove into some bushes nearby. His mother was returning from the market, on the exact same path Remus was traveling. With a jolt, he realized he needed to be home before her. Creeping along behind the bushes, Remus kept a safe distance, all the time wondering how he could get ahead of her somehow. The tiny Lupin home finally came into view, and Remus darted out from his cover behind a tree to run pell-mell into the backyard, hoping he wouldn't be seen. Diving into the tire swing, Remus tried to control his breathing as he heard his mother set down the groceries and open the back door.

"Remus?" she looked around to find her son just where she left him. Remus grinned up at his mum, trying not to look suspicious.

"My, what a happy face! You must have had a pleasant day!"

Remus nodded and continued smiling. It had been his best day ever. He had a friend!

"Hmm," Mrs. Lupin frowned slightly as she walked over to her son and checked his complexion. _Uh oh…_Remus thought, his smile faltering a little, _This is it…_

"Your cheeks are so red Remus! It looks like you're getting sunburned. When your father gets home, ask him to do that one charm that's like sunscreen…" She turned back to the house and shut the door.

Remus let out a huge sigh of relief and let his body hang limp in the swing. He stayed cheerful all evening, much to the puzzlement of his parents, who all through dinner kept dropping mashed potatoes on their laps as they took in the joyful aura of their son who had been heavily depressed just that morning.

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A/N: Finally, a bit of cheering up for Remus! REVIEW PLEASE!


	10. The Disease

Well, it's been a while

Well, it's been a while! I just graduated from high school, isn't that scary? I figure I'd better get some more of this fanfic done before I head off to college.

Thanks cannot be enough for those of you who have stuck with me and kept reading and reviewing! I was debating giving you a million dollars each, but unfortunately I am not J.K. Rowling.

**Disclaimer**: I am not J.K. Rowling. I don't own the Harry Potter universe and I am not a millionaire.

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The following weeks passed by in a blur for Remus. He had a friend! A real, live friend! The secret was bubbling inside of him, much like the potions his father occasionally brewed, threatening to burst forth and over the sides of the cauldron. His cheerful mood of that first afternoon meeting with Michael continued. He grinned almost constantly; a new spring appeared in his stride. His happiness seemed to rub off on his parents, who were so glad to see their son joyful again (although they could never figure out the reason). The Lupin household enjoyed a week of blessed relief from the haunting nightmare the lycanthropy had produced. But it was a short period of rejoicing. The next week was the week of the full moon.

Remus dreaded it, as did his parents, but somehow his burden seemed lighter when he knew he still had some contact with the outside world. After the first secret meeting with Mike, Remus window watched the next day, just to be on the safe side. As he saw the neighbors stroll by, he longed to be out there with them. And now he could! Remus wasn't sure what to do. Should he go meet Mike? Wait for him to come over? He desperately wished for another chance to hear someone other than is parents' voice.

Remus finally got his long-awaited chance three days later as he sat in his tire swing. Face in his hands, Remus was watching the shadows lengthen ever so slowly…

"_Psst!_"

Remus sprung out of the swing.

"_Psst!_"

The sound issued again, from his mother's tomato bush. "Yes?" Remus said expectantly.

Mike emerged from the greenery, wearing a ridiculously ugly yellow and green shirt and brown trousers. Seeing Remus' stare, Mike said, "Oh, do you like it?" He struck a pose. "I'm trying to 'blend in' y' know, cameo-flage." Remus had never seen a more hideous outfit, but he tried to hide his laughter. The impression of a large string bean standing in front of him was stronger than ever.

"Um, well, don't you think the yellow's a bit… bright?" he suggested.

"Nah, I like it. You just don't know anything about cameo-flage." Mike said smugly.

Remus felt an alarm ringing in his head. _This boy has no manners… he has none of the same interests as you… if you were normal you'd politely say good-bye and go play with one of your _real_ friends…_ Suddenly Remus didn't feel quite as cheerful.

"Soooo… I thought ya'd never come outta that stuffy shack. You've been in there for ages! Did your folks lock ya in?" Mike raised one eyebrow.

Remus sighed. "Sort of-" but before he could say anything more Mike broke in.

"Ah! Well, not you're here, and you can help me with my new croquet course!" he grinned brilliantly, as if croquet were the most important way to spend your time.

"Actually Mike-" Remus began…

"Perfect! Let's go through the woods this time, last time it took _forever_…" Mike started to leave, fully expecting Remus to follow.

"No! Mike, I can't just go! My mum's in the cellar, fixing some of her preserve labels, I think. Anyway, I can't just go. She won't know where I've gone!"

Mike looked exasperated. "Then tell her where yer goin', dolt!"

Remus winced and shook his head. How could he explain?

"Mike… Well, you see, I have an… illness…"

Mike's eyes widened as big as saucers. "Cancer? Pneumonia? Tuberculosis? Arachnophobia? Diarrhea? Strep throat? Flu? Hey, my uncle got the flu one and-"

Remus sighed. "No Mike. It's- more serious than all that."

Mike's eyes got even wider, if physically possible. "Worse than _cancer_? _Diarrhea__?_"

Remus took a deep breath. "Sort of…"

"Really? Is it contagious?" Mike backed away an inch or two but by now he was captivated.

Remus wasn't sure what to say. _Yes, I'll bite you and you'll turn into a murderous beast…go away and leave me to rot here all alone._ But to say no would be a lie…

"Well, in a way…" he murmured. Mike started to walk away slowly.

"No, wait! Not for you! It's- well, my parents don't want me wandering off. You see I'm…" Remus broke off, unsure, searching… Mike sat impatiently awaiting the answer. Remus tried again.

"The reason I can't go it I've… got a new disease."

"Really? What-" Remus broke in before Mike could go on another verbal rampage.

"The doctors don't know what it is yet. I have to get all kinds of tests… and they said I can't go play yet, 'cause they don't know if it's contagious just yet. But I don't think it is." He finished hurriedly.

Remus looked worriedly at Mike. Would he go away, never to return? Correspond by post? Become filled with disgust?

"Oh." The boy's face was impassive. Then suddenly he smiled broadly. "Well, I don't think you're contagious neither. I saw you a while ago and I don't feel no different." Remus breathed a sigh of relief. He still had his friend- for now.

"What are the side efflectshions? How'd the doctors find out?" Mike was becoming curious. Remus couldn't go into much detail…

"Is it x-rays, or radilation or summat?"

Remus gladly took his suggestion. "Something of the sort."

"So… can we still play- _secretly?_" Mike dropped his loud voice to a whisper.

Remus smiled. "Now you're talking."

The boys agreed to meet every Wednesday at three, when Mrs. Lupin did her shopping for the week and sold the vegetables at market.

"It's like a spy film! Or… a club! A… hey, we should sign something, or make a secret handshake! We could put our names in blood!" Mike looked positively ecstatic at the thought. Remus' pulse quickened.

"Um… nothing THAT extreme… how about that handshake?"

They spent another few minutes creating an elaborate combination of hand movements, sounds, and dancing. The finished product was about thirty seconds long, and when they tried performing it, Remus and Mike only got part way through before forgetting what came next.

"Oh well, it was good though. See you Wednesday!" Mike trotted into the forest.

"Mike!" Remus cupped his hands to his mouth. "Don't forget… don't tell anyone!"

"I won't!" a voice from deep within the trees called back.

Suddenly the back door opened and Mrs. Lupin's inquisitive face peered out. "Remus? Who were you talking to?"

Remus tried to look innocent. "No one." He said, a little too quickly.

Mrs. Lupin put her hands on her hips and tried to look menacing but she really looked worried. "Tell the truth young man."

Remus eye's darted around the yard.

"I was- I was talking to your tomatoes!" Remus pointed for emphasis. "I read plants grow better if you talk and sing to them!"

Mrs. Lupin looked incredulous yet relieved. "Okay then- I'll be inside cooking supper if you need anything." She left.

_Whew._ Remus climbed back into the tire swing, his thoughts far away from the horrors of the night that would soon overcome him. He couldn't wait for Wednesday.

--

A/N: Review, por favor! Sorry, that was a short one, but a longer one is coming!


	11. What's in the Cellar?

Hello faithful readers! Here's the promised update. This is one of my favorite chapters so far (and one of the longest) so enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Harry Potter universe. It belongs to J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers.

--

It was Tuesday evening and Remus was trying to occupy himself before supper, far too excited about the next day to stand still.

"Calm down Remus! You'll wear a hole in the floor!" Mrs. Lupin glanced at him with a worried look on her face as she prepared the food.

Mr. Lupin came home a few moments later, in an extraordinary mood. He kissed Mrs. Lupin and beamed as he saw the meager supper she was making- thin string beans and a sort of vegetable stew.

"No more of this honey- guess what? I got a raise!" Mr. Lupin gushed as he conjured a huge roast turkey out of nowhere.

"Oh… John!!" Mrs. Lupin had tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. Remus knew she was beyond happiness as Mr. Lupin gathered her in his arms. They had money now! No more oatmeal, no more stringy, low-class meat! Remus' stomach growled and drew Mr. and Mrs. Lupin back to the present. "Oh! Sorry, Remus!" Mr. Lupin let go of his wife and scooped his son into his arms and twirled him around, laughing. "We can finally get you a new book or two!" Remus smiled widely as his father set him back down. "Let's eat!" Mrs. Lupin cried enthusiastically as she carved the turkey.

It was a splendid meal. The malnourished family shoveled the amazing turkey into their mouths and discussed the advantages of their new budget with their mouths full. Remus knew they were exaggerating as soon as they began to speak of dragon-skin coats and rocket-ships. Mrs. Lupin swallowed a particularly large bite and cradled her fork thoughtfully.

"Really, John. How much more is it?" she asked, suddenly serious. "Will it cover all of the…costs?"

Mr. Lupin avoided his wife's gaze for a moment as he finished chewing. "Well, Ann… it's more! Plenty more! I mean, the turkey-"

"How much?" Mrs. Lupin demanded, nervous.

"About…" he glanced at Remus, leaned over and whispered something in his wife's ear.

"You know I don't understand that blasted wizard currency!" she was getting extremely frustrated.

Her husband leaned over once again and said something else into her ear. Mrs. Lupin jumped out of her seat.

"John! That's hardly anything! Really!"

"Well, the turkey was a _bit _of a splurge…"

"A BIT John!! We hardly have enough money as it is! Why did you go out and… waste it?"

"It wasn't wasted! It was… we needed this Ann!" Mr. Lupin was on his feet.

Mrs. Lupin glared at her husband. "Think of the consequences John. We have mouths to feed."

"Which is exactly why I bought this! We're withering away Ann!"

"You know what I mean, John."

"Ann… honestly, I don't think this will compromise the situation…"

Remus winced as his parents continued to throw harsh retorts at each other. He stopped listening and quietly excused himself. Neither parent noticed him leave.

Sighing, Remus saw all his dreams for a new book go up in smoke. He settled for the tatty copy of Much Ado About Nothing, hoping for a bit of cheering up even though the language was a bit more complicated than he would have liked.

Finally the yelling stopped and Remus turned out his light. He feinted sleep, trying to avoid talking to his parents.

--

Wednesday morning dawned bright and cheerful, largely contrasting the previous night. Remus' mood was as infectious as his bite, and soon his parents wore his smile (although he somewhat suspected his was an apology for their argument). At the breakfast table, Remus gulped down his oatmeal with lightning speed, to the astonishment of Mrs. Lupin.

"Remus, I thought you said you didn't like my cooking?" she raised an eyebrow as Remus looked up from his bowl, cheeks chock full of oatmeal.

"Mfh Mrph." Remus said happily, swallowing his mouthful in one huge gulp. He pushed away from the table and scurried out to the backyard.

Mr. Lupin chuckled and shook his head. "What's gotten into him these days…" His face fell as he saw his wife's worried look. She saw him watching her and waved her hand as if shooing the concern away.

"Oh, I'm fine John. It is nice having a happy little boy for a change, but Remus seems… different somehow… like he's hiding something." Mrs. Lupin turned to her husband as if expecting him to prove she wasn't paranoid.

Mr. Lupin shrugged. "I wouldn't fret over it. It's probably just a phase." Seeing his wife's incredulous look, Mr. Lupin laughed. "Honestly Ann. Don't work yourself up about it! Enjoy it while it lasts." He glanced at his wristwatch. "Oops, I'm late! Gotta run!"

After kissing Mrs. Lupin lightly on the cheek, Mr. Lupin walked outside and dissaparated with a _snap! _Mrs. Lupin turned around and stood with her arms crossed, frowning as she watched Remus for a moment through the window, then she turned to the sink and began to wash the breakfast dishes covered in turkey grease.

Remus sat in the tire swing, swaying to and fro impatiently. It was only twelve and Mike was coming at three… time seemed to crawl like the ugly yellow slug sliding down his mum's tomato leaves… Remus got up and flicked it away before it did any damage. The day was cool, with a breeze pushing dark clouds overhead. The air smelled of rain, and Remus was hoping it would hold off for at least three or four hours.

Around two-thirty, as Remus was inspecting the slug he had flicked off hours earlier (it had moved two feet since then), light droplets of rain began to fall on his head. Remus scowled up at the sky, which resulted in a raindrop in his eye. Blinking rapidly, Remus dejectedly made his way towards the house.

Closing the door behind him, Remus sat down at the table and glared out the window streaked with raindrop trails. The slug looked like it was getting swamped… a puddle was forming in the vegetable patch. Mrs. Lupin came into the room and smiled at the sight of Remus.

"Hello Mr. Grumpy. You know, there are other things you could do on a rainy day instead of staring out of a window. Practice chess, read, cook… we could have school today." Mrs. Lupin suggested. Remus kept his gloomy face and shook his head.

"You have to go to market today mum, remember? We can't have school."

Mrs. Lupin started. "Oh! You're right, it's Wednesday! Thanks for reminding me. Now where did I put those green beans…" Remus rolled his eyes and turned back to the window as she bustled away.

Something outside caught his eye. Straining to make it out through the sheets of rain, Remus stood up and pressed his face to the window. There, drenched in water and covered in mud, stood Mike. He appeared expectant and didn't look the least bit put off by the downpour. Noticing Remus, he waved his arms and made motions for Remus to come out. Remus shook his head vigorously and mouthed _No, come in HERE_. He indicated Mike should be quiet then pointed at the back door.

Remus tip-toed to the door and opened it, carefully turning the handle so it wouldn't click. Mike stepped inside, quiet, but looking as if the silence was killing him. Bursting to say something, he jumped up and down, spraying water and mud all over the clean kitchen floor. Remus winced as the droplets hit the ground and waved his hands for Mike to stop. He finally did, much to Remus' relief. Putting a finger to his lips, Remus motioned for Mike to follow him and began to tiptoe towards his room. Wherever Mike stepped, a muddy trail followed. Slapping a hand to his forehead at his stupidity, Remus changed his course and started toward the basement instead.

"Remus, honey?" Mrs. Lupin's voice sounded from her room. Remus froze in his tracks.

"Remus, have you seen my blue overcoat?" he could hear her rummaging through her closet, searching. Mike looked to Remus, unsure of what to do. Remus yelled to his mother without moving. "No, sorry mum!" He frantically tiptoed for the basement door, hoping she wouldn't walk in and see…

Footsteps resounded in from the hallway just as Remus and Mike reached the door. "I'm leaving Remus! Be good and have fun!" her face appeared in the kitchen doorway and Remus closed his eyes, mortified. _He was in for it!_

Mike nudged Remus and he opened one eye, afraid to look. Mike was smiling sheepishly and pointing at Mrs. Lupin who had both eyes shut tight as she blew a kiss at where Remus had been sitting in the kitchen earlier when she last saw him. "B-b-bye mom." Remus said nervously. Thankfully his mother never opened her eyes, she just continued down the hall and out the front door. As soon as the door shut behind her, Remus let out a huge sigh of relief. "That was WAY too close."

Mike snorted. "I'll say. So whadda we do now?"

Remus, still shaken from the encounter, thought for a moment. "Well, first we need to clean this up" he pointed to the messy kitchen floor. "Then I think we should play in here. It's too wet outside." Mike nodded, but seemed a bit upset they weren't going to be covered in mud.

After about twenty minutes of mopping and scrubbing, the kitchen was shiny and clean once again. "Well, now that that's over, whadda ya say we explore your house, Remus?" Mike suggested.

Remus wasn't so sure he liked the idea of Mike prying into his family's private things. "Nah. Why don't we play in the cellar? I haven't been down there in a while." Mike took to the idea enthusiastically.

Remus thought about what he had said to Mike as they tromped down the cellar stairs. When was the last time he had been down here? Reaching the dark and damp bottom, Remus groped around for the chain that turned on the single light bulb that illuminated the one-room cellar. Finding it, he yanked.

The basement still looked creepy, even with the illumination. The corners remained dark, and the preserves in their glass jars glinted eerily in the dim light. There were shelves and shelves of them; peaches and plums, strawberries and raspberries and who knew what else. Remus loved his mother's pies she made with these lovely fruit preserves, but he hadn't tasted them for quite some time. Flour and sugar were expensive, and a lot of time went into making a pie. Remus wondered why his mother didn't sell the preserves at the market, but he figured it was because she was hopeful that one day she would be able to make pies again… _although after last night that dream is looking pretty grim…_

Remus turned to see Mike examining another wall of preserves. "This is boring!" he whined as he picked up a jar. "I wanna go back outside. Then we can play war!" Before Remus could protest, the preserve slipped out of Mike's hands and shattered on the floor. "Now look what you've done!" Remus moaned.

As he bent down to pick up the pieces of glass, Remus paused. A tiny sliver of light was poking out from underneath the shelf. Remus stood up excitedly. The gap where the broken jar had just been also had light pouring through. Remus had thought there was nothing behind these shelves… carefully avoiding the glass, he began to grab jars right and left, until a hole large enough to poke his head through appeared.

"What're you doin'?!" Mike yelled. "You wanna break another one?"

Remus ignored him and stuck his head through the shelves. There was an entire room beyond his cellar! It was very bare, with concrete walls and a concrete floor, just like the rest of the basement. But the temperature was a tiny bit warmer, and a rotting dresser with a lamp on it illuminated the room just barely. Remus couldn't make out what was near the far wall.

"Hey Mike, let's go over there!" Remus said in awe. He had never known his parents to keep their home a secret before. What could they be hiding? After much shifting of jars, Remus and Mike managed to shift the shelves just enough for them to squeeze through, one at a time.

Remus went first. Straightening up and dusting himself off, he made a beeline directly for the far side of the tiny room, the area in shadow. He paused as a lumpy old bed came into view. On top of it was unmistakably one of Mrs. Lupin's homemade quilts, one Remus didn't recognize. Underneath was a strange lumpy shape. Remus walked up to the side of the bed and pulled back the covers.

Underneath laid a girl. A living, breathing, young girl. Her tiny body looked malnourished and her muscles underdeveloped. She was wearing a sort of stained hospital gown that Remus recognized from St. Mungo's, and had an IV needle in her arm which was attached to a bag of fluid nearby. The girl turned and looked at Remus. She had hollow eyes, dead eyes, with nothing behind them. She took a deep, raspy breath as her eyes met his. They did not see. Remus backed away in horror and screamed.

--

Remus fell backwards and landed hard on the concrete floor, but he ignored the pain in his wrists and continued to push himself away from the… thing that lay in the bed. Mike looked into the tiny gap excitedly, trying to get a glimpse of whatever had scared Remus so much. "What? What is it Remus? Whydidya scream?" Mike saw Remus jump to his feet and frantically push himself through the gap in the shelves. His face was paper-white, his mouth open in repulsion. Mike began to bombard Remus with questions as he tried to catch his breath. "No time- shut it!" Remus cried out as soon as he could muster a word. Mike saw his friend's expression and for once shut his mouth and helped him push the heavy shelves back into place. Remus gathered the removed preserves quickly and filled in the gaps until no light shone through… only one where the broken jar had been. He grabbed Mike's hand and pulled his towards the stairs. "Hurry it's… just come on!" Remus panted. Mike obliged, and soon they were plunged into light, Remus with his hands on his knees, trying to recover.

"What? Why are you so scared? What is it?"

Remus stared at the floor. He couldn't say anything. Mike's words sounded far away… he felt like his brain was about to explode. The fear finally began to subside and all Remus could think about was how his parents had lied to him. There was a room in his house he had never seen before with a… _creature_ living inside it! Were they hiding it? Was it hiding from them? Did they know? Who, or what was she? All Remus could picture about the 'girl' were those eyes… dark, empty and soulless. What on earth were his parents doing, keeping a thing like that alive? (if they even knew it was there!) Remus finally snapped back to reality when Mike pinched him hard on the arm.

"Hey! I'm talkin' to you! Whatdidya see? Alien? Monster? Dead zombie? Mother-in-law?... my dad says those are _real_ scary…"

"Mike, please shut up." Remus said, exasperated. "I dunno what it was… sort of like a girl… but with these… empty eyes…"

"Zombie." Mike said matter-o-factly. "I knew it. We gotta get a knife, or a gun, or a torch or summat and kill it! Come on! Like a hunter! A zombie-hunter! Or-"

Mike stopped short at the sight of Remus. "Was it really that scary?" he asked quietly. Remus looked up into Mike's eyes. For a moment, Mike saw something dark stir beneath them and he took one tiny step backwards. "Yes, Mike. But we can't kill it… I don't know what… or who… she is."

"Let's go down and I can look at it too!" Mike suggested. "I know all about creepy monster things, you see, I got this book-"

"Later, Mike." Remus interrupted. "My mom's coming home any minute- we don't have time."

Mike looked dejected. "But it could be gone later! It could disappear, or melt, or dising-ter-n-grate, or die- wait, it's probably already dead- well, how do you know it'll stick around?"

Remus opened the back door for Mike and saw the trees dripping as the leftover rain slid off of their leaves. "Oh, I think it'll be sticking around for a while."

--

Remus pondered what to do as he anxiously awaited the return of his mother. Mike had just left, gushing about weapons he could utilize against the creature as he cut through the woods. Remus sat on a chair in the kitchen, his head in his trembling hands. He didn't know what to do. His mother was coming home, but would it be fast enough? Could the creature climb the stairs? And what WAS it? _Maybe it's some sort of magical creature that is a part of my dad's work at the Ministry…_Remus jumped up suddenly, struck with a brainstorm. "It's aboggart!" he said aloud. _That would explain a lot!!_

Remus had never met one before, but the thing had certainly scared him… could he be afraid of hospitals? (_hmm… that's reasonable, considering I've been visiting them a lot lately…_) Death? Sickness? (_also reasonable…_). He really didn't know. He could always confront his parents… Remus recoiled at the very idea. No- he had a feeling they were involved in its concealment somehow. They couldn't know he had found out, at least not yet. Remus settled on the theory of the thing being a boggart, it made perfect sense. It could have been living in the rotting dresser down there, popping out when he went through the shelves with Mike. Remus thought some more. His parents _had _been going down into the basement quite a bit… _they _must_ know_. Maybe his dad was trying to get rid of it!! That would make total sense, Remus rationalized, because who would want to keep a boggart in their cellar? _But what if it's part of dad's work, his raise even!…_ Remus remembered the dead eyes and cold, raspy breathing. _No_…

"I have to get rid of it!" he said aloud.

"Get rid of what, sweetie?"

Remus jumped in surprise. Mrs. Lupin set down a wet bag of groceries and smiled down at Remus, who happened to be sitting where she had last seen him. Remus hadn't heard her come in; he had been so absorbed in his thoughts.

"Oh… er… the yellow slug that's been eating your tomatoes. I saw it again today." Remus lied quickly.

"Not again." Mrs. Lupin rolled her eyes. "Well, I was going to let John take care of it, but you sound so determined… and you haven't moved all afternoon! You know, he may let you use his wand to get rid of it! Oh wait… I don't know if that's allowed… better ask when he gets home. Good sales today, despite the rain!" she smiled again and began to put the groceries away.

Remus' heart began to race. _His father's wand!_ He could get rid of the boggart himself! Surely the ministry wouldn't notice… just one simple spell and 'poof!' no more creature with creepy eyes!

"How was your day, Remus?" Mrs. Lupin asked cheerfully. Remus shook his head vigorously as if to erase his condemning thoughts. Thank goodness neither of his parents knew the legillimency he had been reading about yesterday.

"Okay," he said. "I read while it was raining."

"Good. Nice to see you found something to do. What book?"

"Er- Hogwarts, A History."

"Again?" Mrs. Lupin stopped unpacking and put her hands on her hips. "I swear, you'll have that book memorized before long."

"Well… I don't have much else." Remus murmured.

Remus could tell his mother was thinking of the night before. "Oh…" she said quietly and trailed off, somewhat embarrassed. Remus wished he hadn't said anything. He could see tears gathering at the corners of his mother's eyes. He had destroyed her chipper mood.

Turning back to his own thoughts, he began to draw up a plan. Remus felt much braver in the light of the kitchen with his mother chopping vegetables next to him. How could he get his father's wand? His dad had it with him at all times. _Except when he sleeps… _Mr. Lupin would set his wand on the nightstand near his pillow. Remus had seen it there often, when he couldn't sleep because of nightmares and had to enter his parent's domain, something that had been occurring more and more often. Yes, he could steal it… borrow it while his father was asleep, get rid of the boggart while it was still dark and return it before morning. It had to work. A small voice in Remus' head kept saying, _But what makes you think you can get rid of it when your father can't? He's much more experienced. And maybe he's keeping it there for his work, do you know where he disapparates to every day?_ Remus pushed the voice away, ignoring it. He had a plan, and he was going to execute it.

The evening meal was long and arduous. Remus avoided his parents' eyes, afraid they might turn black and cold… he kept glancing over at the cellar door… jumping at slight noises… answering his father's questions with one or two words… _I'm betraying them… they betrayed me… what do I do?_ Thankfully the whole family seemed downtrodden and there wasn't much conversation.

Finally Remus forced down the last bit of the string beans and left the table, still fighting a moral battle inside his head. He flopped down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Remus heard his mother say, "I'm going to organize the preserves!"

The preserves don't need to be organized… they're fine, Remus thought. _Boggarts_ need to be checked on, however_. She must know! They don't want it coming upstairs to scare me! _He continued to stare at the ceiling, ignoring his mother's receding footsteps and picking up Much Ado About Nothing once again. He had gotten well into the first act before he heard his mother call his name. Looking up, Remus saw her standing in the doorway, a piece of broken glass clutched between her outstretched fingers.

"Explain yourself."

Remus gulped.

--

Will Remus vanquish the creature? Will his mother find out what he knows? Will visualpurple update? Find out sooner by REVIEWING!!


	12. Boggart in the Dark

Well, here's the next chapter! I'm not sure how many people are still reading my story… Please review! It boosts confidence. :-)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own boggarts or Remus or anything else in the Harry Potter world. They belong to J.K. Rowling, not me.

--

Remus tried to look everywhere but his infuriated mother, but her infamous glare had him in its grasp.

"I asked you a question, young man! I found this-" she brandished the shining piece of glass at him- "in the basement! Well?"

Remus gulped again. _What do I say? Will she know I found the boggart? Think…!_

Remus slowly stood up and tried to look as guilty as possible, which was not difficult given the situation. "I-I'm sorry mum. I-I wanted some… sweets, so I… went down into the cellar and… well, I didn't mean for it to break and I tried to pick it up, really I did-"

Mrs. Lupin's angry expression progressed into something far more frightening- a sort of extreme paranoia; Remus could see it in her eyes as he trailed off. _She thinks I found it!_

Mrs. Lupin cleared her throat. "That- that was all?" she shook off the strange look and once again put on the mask of scolding mother. "So you wanted sweets and broke one of my jars..." It sounded like a question. Remus bowed his head dejectedly. He could just barely hear his mother's sigh of relief. "Well, I hope you've learned your lesson, Remus John Lupin. I mean, honestly, you could have…"

Remus blocked out his mother's voice for a moment while he thought. _She doesn't want me to find the boggart… all the preserves are there to hide it until dad gets rid of it… maybe he can't! What if it's something else, something so powerful that-_

"Are you even listening to me?!" Remus snapped back to his mother with her hands on her hips, scowling down at him. "Yes mum. I promise never to go back into the cellar." He carefully crossed his fingers behind his back. Thankfully, his mother took no notice.

"Alright, mister." She bent down and gave him a somewhat forceful good-night kiss. "Your father might be a while, honey. He's… cleaning up the rest of the glass. Night-night." She shut the door.

Remus sighed. Now he was positive that his father was in on it too. _Why can't he just "riddikulus" it away? It's not terribly difficult magic… is it? Should I still get rid of it, even though it could be a part of his job…?_ Remus felt like a rat running through a maze with no exit.

--

Two days later it would be a full moon. Remus had a rather uneventful time leading up to it, having carefully deterred Mike from visiting for the next few days (to much protest) when he had seen him the afternoon before.

The monster in the basement had Mike so crazy with curiosity he had threatened breaking into the Lupin home unless Remus let him see it soon. Remus felt a little bad about executing his plan without his new friend, but he knew that doing magic in front of muggles was illegal. He wasn't worried about the threat Mike had given; Remus knew that for all Mike blabbed and acted, he was actually quite a coward (the yellow garden slug had caused him a great deal of discomfort after their conversation). As Remus watched Mike try to contain his terror by yelling out empty threats at the slug, he realized he was becoming quite fond of him. Maybe the friendship would work out after all.

The night of the full moon passed just as slowly as before. His parents tried to calm him, but it was getting harder and harder for just words to stop the wolf in its tracks. Even the first reading of _Goodnight, Moon_ was nearly unsuccessful. Mr. and Mrs. Lupin opened the bedroom door the next morning to more blood than ever before. Thankfully, Mr. Lupin, always practical, had taken it upon himself to learn as many healing spells as he could muster, and to everyone's great relief they were saving a large sum of hospital bills and pain due to his newfound skills.

Remus awoke to the ache of sore muscles and a few small bites on his arms and legs (apparently there was no cure for those) but no cuts or bruises, thanks to his father's magic. He slowly stood up, using his bed for balance and walked carefully to the kitchen for a small breakfast. However, it was already late afternoon, so he had lunch instead.

Remus had planned the following night as that of the boggart-vanquishing quest. He knew tonight he would be far too weak. But he didn't plan on sitting idle all day. Remus read and re-read as many books as he could; any book that he thought could help somehow, especially one small passage from an old defense against the dark arts textbook about boggarts:

'… _then upon taking the wand and brandishing it in the said pattern, one shall utter the phrase "Riddikulus" and think of some amusing vision in which to ensnare the creature; be forewarned of the beast's cleverness... It may entreat with some stranger form of that which you fear, but do not be swayed. Repeat the above commands and you shall be successful.'_

Remus had no idea if this information was even valid anymore, as it had been his father's old textbook, but it was all he had. Using it along with his notes from his father's lessons, he prepared his mind for the daunting task ahead.

--

Remus awoke the following night just as the waning moon was rising above the trees. A sorrowful sound echoed through the night as he got out of bed… a mourning dove outside his window? _Or a wolf howling in the distance?_ Remus shuddered visibly and crept out of the room.

Both of his parents were sound asleep, his father snoring loudly. Remus tiptoed quietly towards his father's nightstand. The shadows seemed to dance and stretch upon the walls, and Remus had to keep double checking to make sure there was nothing in the corners, watching him. Mr. Lupin's wand sat innocently on the nightstand, as if waiting to be taken. _Maybe he's put a spell on it, an alarm! _Remus hesitated. He was not even allowed to hold a wand, he knew, according to his parents' rules. He hoped the Ministry wouldn't know even if he cast a spell; he was counting on the fact that they often overlooked young wizards doing magic because they usually couldn't help it. But his parents would be incredibly disappointed… _if I get rid of the boggart; face my fears like dad said, they'll be proud! _Remus tried to reassure himself. He could feel his hand shaking as he reached for the wand. Suddenly Mr. Lupin's snores rose to a whining feverish pitch and he snorted. Remus jumped and grabbed the wand without a second thought. His father rolled over. Nothing happened.

Remus ran out of the room and down the hall, scared out of his mind. The last time he had been out of bed and wandering at night it hadn't turned out so well. And tonight the surroundings looked positively threatening. The broom resembled a giant claw awaiting its prey; the chairs hunchbacked old men huddling to discuss how to dispose of the nosy boy; even the chess set sitting on the table cast elongated shadows that seemed like knives and gravestones. Remus gulped and told himself they were all harmless and kept going.

The room seemed to stretch out as he made his way to the cellar door. Closing his eyes in dread, Remus reached out his hand to open it. _You know, you don't have to do this,_ a voice in his head said soothingly. _You can just go back to your nice warm bed and pretend that you never found the boggart downstairs. Go on, your father can take care of it… go back to sweet ignorance…_

_But I have to face my fears, like dad said! I can't pretend anymore! _Remus turned the knob.

The cold air from below blasted his face, smelling of mildew and death, much like an old crypt. Remus once again had second thoughts, but his feet had already begun to make their way down into the darkness. Remus felt as if he were being smothered by a lethinfold. _I should have brought a flashlight!_ He cursed his stupidity as he reached the bottom and fumbled for the light switch.

The room burst into light, the preserves glittering menacingly on the shelves. Remus noted there were no gaps now; his mother must have put up a new jar to replace the broken one. Remus began to remove jars from the shelves, amazed he was not breaking them right and left as his entire body shook. Unlike before, no light shone from behind; if possible the blackness was more complete than anything Remus had ever seen. _How will I see?_ Suddenly Remus recalled the wand. Gripping it tightly, he kept working until a large enough gap appeared. Remus could see nothing. He stared into the void, repeating _Riddikulus!_ in his head like a mantra. Still, he hesitated. _Come on, GO! _Finally, drawing up all the strength and courage he possibly could, Remus squeezed into the hole.

"Lumos!" Remus whispered. Nothing happened. He panicked- the magic wasn't working! "Lumos!" he said it again a bit louder, imagining the light, and to his extreme relief the wand tip lit with a very faint glow. The far wall was still dark. Remus strained his ears but could hear nothing. He bit his lip and approached.

There it was. Pale, sickly, St. Mungo's gown, the heavy labored breathing that Remus could not believe he hadn't heard earlier… and the eyes. Remus didn't look at them. Instead he looked towards the rotten dresser, his heart beating wildly. One of the drawers was opened. _So that's how she got out! _His knees trembled as did his voice as he stammered, "R-riddikulus!" and waved the wand as he had practiced. Nothing. The creature began to breathe louder and turned its dead eyes to Remus. He could feel his heart exploding in his ribs. "Riddikulus!" She outstretched her spindly arm to him, fingers limp, the IV cart rattling as she slowly moved. Remus felt like screaming. Every nerve in his body was on fire, all his hair on end. _Boggarts can't hurt you… boggarts can't hurt you… Imagine her… _but Remus couldn't think of anything funny at all. _RUN!_

Remus closed his eyes and raised his wand. "NO! I have to finish this! RIDDIKULUS!!" The girl let out a faint whining noise that Remus strongly suspected was a scream. It wasn't working! Remus frantically searched the tiny room. Maybe he could hit the creature? Smother it? _Can you touch a boggart? Kill it?_ All of his limbs were trembling as his eyes ping-ponged from object to object. They rested on a pale tube in the corner. _The IV!_ Remus didn't wait another heartbeat. He grabbed the cord and yanked it as hard as he could.

The thing hardly even flinched. Remus stumbled backwards, dropped the wand, and watched as she slowly lowered her arm until the whole thing hung limp. It stared at him. Remus' warm brown eyes met only emptiness. Minutes seemed like hours. Remus still couldn't tear his gaze away. Suddenly, as if a switch had been flung, her eyes snapped shut and she shuddered. The gaping mouth closed and the rattling breaths stopped. Remus couldn't help but notice how at peace the creature looked as it took its last breath and softly laid its head onto the pillow. It was over.

Remus fell onto his knees and put his head in his hands. He had done it! He had faced his fears and gotten rid of the monstrous thing! He could still feel his whole body shaking. Peering through his fingers he saw the creature was still there. _Aren't boggarts supposed to disappear?_ Remus noticed how the light from the wand was casting strange shadows on the thing. Something was glittering on its arm. Remus wondered why a bracelet needed to be a part of the boggart's illusion. He rose up and carefully snuck over to the body. It didn't move. Remus took the waxy arm gingerly into his quivering fingers and turned the white and green bracelet towards the pool of light. There was something written on the faded paper. Remus leaned closer to read it.

FELICITY MARIE LUPIN

RAMI AHLQUIST WARD

FIRST FLOOR ROOM 42

ST. MUNGO'S HOSPITAL FOR MAGICAL MALADIES AND INJURIES

Remus fell backwards onto the concrete. He hadn't killed a boggart. He had murdered his younger sister.

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End file.
